A dog's chalkboard assignments_动物笑话

A dog's chalkboard assignments

文章来源：文章作者：发布时间：2007-02-14 08:03 字体： [大中小]　进入论坛

(单词翻译:双击或拖选)

This list of chalkboard assignments may be used for your dog when he does not behave well. The below variations and choices will help you pick an assignment. A. Fill in the blanks

1. [xxx] is not food.
Spiders; bandaids; ivy¹ and airplane plants; Xmas ornaments²; the carved jack-o-lantern; plants from the aquarium³; cat litter box contents; laundry detergent⁴ boxes (esp. not when full!); toothpaste (tube and all); remote controls; linoleum⁵; eyeglasses; books; stockings; the tar⁶ shingles⁷ on my house; chicken wire; bizarre plants; disposable razors; rocks; Lego; dirty Kleenex; the baby's used diaper; Christmas stockings; soda⁸ pop cans; fiberglass insulation⁹ stuffed up the chimney; the underwear in the clothes hamper¹⁰; Mommy's hair accessories; Mommy's catnip teabags; unopened honey packets; staples¹¹; Christmas stockings; credit cards, CDs, and other thin plastic things.

2. I will not lift my leg to the [xxx].
Anything growing in the vegetable garden; house corner; new boyfriend; mailman; woodstove; subordinate pack members; Grandma's plush chair; the conformation judge; good-looking neighbour man that Mommy is trying to impress; Daddy in the lawn chair.

3. I recognize that [xxx] has a right to exist.
The humans' shoes; the human's cats; the aquarium; 3rd grade art projects (even if they are made of macaroni shells); the other dog(s); the TV remote control; the human's little humans; the bath mitt¹²; Rolling Stone magazine; large patterns on wallpaper;

4. [xxx] is not a toy.
The humans' shoes; the human's cats; the humans' pet cockatiel; newly planted iris¹³ bulbs; pillows and blankets from the bed; laundry (dirty OR clean); aquarium plants; stuffed animals from on top of the chest of drawers; pillows and blankets from the newly made bed; the hose that's filling the kiddie pool; the humans' Nerf footballs; human's underwear; Mommy and Daddy's ferrets.

5. I will not chew the [xxx].
Human's homework; human's papers s/he has to mark; remote control; cardboard around the laundry detergent; handles to the lawn tools; garage door; kitchen cabinets; food left within reach on the couch; the mini-human's *full* bottle even though it conveniently fell in front of me from the crib; horse's new saddle; wall; carpet; deck; couch; sofa cushions; expensive paperbacks¹⁴.

6. I will not bark at [xxx].
Plastic bags on the ground; the new plow¹⁵ blade on my owner's truck when it is parked; the wind; thunder; the road grader; Daddy's new Santa bear toy (which was innocently sitting on a chair, and had been there for hours before Molly noticed it and took umbrage); tissue paper being blown along the floor by air from the furnace; the spring doorstop when I or the kid flips¹⁶ it and makes it go DOooiiiiinnnnnng; my mother's clean laundry thrown on top of the bed, even if the room is dark and it looks like someone sleeping there; the ball I just pushed into an inaccessible¹⁷ crevice¹⁸ all by myself; the fox/skunk/cat/deer out in the yard at any time after midnight, especially on a work night; the fire hydrant on the corner when out for a walk at night; the car radio; the answering machine lady when she says the date/time; the ice cube that slid under the fridge; the rawhide¹⁹ chewbone that I'm making no headway on; absolutely nothing (especially after 11 PM).

7. I will not dig [xxx].
Under the stove (and through the linoleum); under the sidewalk until it collapses; the carpet; a hole under the porch and then get stuck under it; under my master's pillow at 2 AM to retrieve the bone I hid there earlier; a swimming pool in the back yard;

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收听单词发音

1 ivy
n.常青藤，常春藤
参考例句：
Her wedding bouquet consisted of roses and ivy.她的婚礼花篮包括玫瑰和长春藤。 The wall is covered all over with ivy.墙上爬满了常春藤。

2 ornaments
n.装饰( ornament的名词复数 )；点缀；装饰品；首饰v.装饰，点缀，美化( ornament的第三人称单数 )
参考例句：
The shelves were chock-a-block with ornaments. 架子上堆满了装饰品。 Playing the piano sets up resonance in those glass ornaments. 一弹钢琴那些玻璃饰物就会产生共振。来自《简明英汉词典》

3 aquarium
n.水族馆，养鱼池，玻璃缸
参考例句：
The first time I saw seals was in an aquarium.我第一次看见海豹是在水族馆里。 I'm going to the aquarium with my parents this Sunday.这个星期天，我要和父母一起到水族馆去。

4 detergent
n.洗涤剂；adj.有洗净力的
参考例句：
He recommended a new detergent to me.他向我推荐一种新的洗涤剂。 This detergent can remove stubborn stains.这种去污剂能去除难洗的污渍。

5 linoleum
n.油布，油毯
参考例句：
They mislaid the linoleum.他们把油毡放错了地方。 Who will lay the linoleum?谁将铺设地板油毡？

6 tar
n.柏油，焦油；vt.涂或浇柏油/焦油于
参考例句：
The roof was covered with tar.屋顶涂抹了一层沥青。 We use tar to make roads.我们用沥青铺路。

7 shingles
n.带状疱疹；（布满海边的）小圆石( shingle的名词复数 )；屋顶板；木瓦（板）；墙面板
参考例句：
Shingles are often dipped in creosote. 屋顶板常浸涂木焦油。来自《现代英汉综合大词典》 The roofs had shingles missing. 一些屋顶板不见了。来自辞典例句

8 soda
n.苏打水；汽水
参考例句：
She doesn't enjoy drinking chocolate soda.她不喜欢喝巧克力汽水。 I will freshen your drink with more soda and ice cubes.我给你的饮料重加一些苏打水和冰块。

9 insulation
n.隔离；绝缘；隔热
参考例句：
Please examine the insulation of the electric wires in my house.请检查一下我屋子里电线的绝缘情况。 It is always difficult to assure good insulation between the electric leads.要保证两个电触头之间有良好的绝缘总是很困难的。

10 hamper
vt.妨碍，束缚，限制；n.(有盖的)大篮子
参考例句：
There are some apples in a picnic hamper.在野餐用的大篮子里有许多苹果。 The emergence of such problems seriously hamper the development of enterprises.这些问题的出现严重阻碍了企业的发展。

11 staples
n.（某国的）主要产品( staple的名词复数 )；钉书钉；U 形钉；主要部份v.用钉书钉钉住( staple的第三人称单数 )
参考例句：
The anvil onto which the staples are pressed was not assemble correctly. 订书机上的铁砧安装错位。来自辞典例句 I'm trying to make an analysis of the staples of his talk. 我在试行分析他的谈话的要旨。来自辞典例句

12 mitt
n.棒球手套，拳击手套，无指手套；vt.铐住，握手
参考例句：
I gave him a baseball mitt for his birthday.为祝贺他的生日，我送给他一只棒球手套。 Tom squeezed a mitt and a glove into the bag.汤姆把棒球手套和手套都塞进袋子里。

13 iris
n.虹膜，彩虹
参考例句：
The opening of the iris is called the pupil.虹膜的开口处叫做瞳孔。 This incredible human eye,complete with retina and iris,can be found in the Maldives.又是在马尔代夫，有这样一只难以置信的眼睛，连视网膜和虹膜都刻画齐全了。

14 paperbacks
n.平装本，平装书( paperback的名词复数 )
参考例句：
This shop only sells paperbacks. 这家书店只出售平装本的书。来自辞典例句 Other paperbacks were selling for ten or 15 cents each. 其它的平装书每本才卖十或十五美分。来自互联网

15 plow
n.犁，耕地，犁过的地；v.犁，费力地前进[英]plough
参考例句：
At this time of the year farmers plow their fields.每年这个时候农民们都在耕地。 We will plow the field soon after the last frost.最后一场霜过后，我们将马上耕田。

16 flips
轻弹( flip的第三人称单数 )；按（开关）；快速翻转；急挥
参考例句：
Larry flips on the TV while he is on vacation in Budapest. 赖瑞在布达佩斯渡假时，打开电视收看节目。 He flips through a book before making a decision. 他在决定买下一本书前总要先草草翻阅一下。

17 inaccessible
adj.达不到的，难接近的
参考例句：
This novel seems to me among the most inaccessible.这本书对我来说是最难懂的小说之一。 The top of Mount Everest is the most inaccessible place in the world.珠穆朗玛峰是世界上最难到达的地方。

18 crevice
n.(岩石、墙等)裂缝；缺口
参考例句：
I saw a plant growing out of a crevice in the wall.我看到墙缝里长出一棵草来。 He edged the tool into the crevice.他把刀具插进裂缝里。

19 rawhide
n.生牛皮
参考例句：
At his belt he carried a rawhide whip.他腰间别着生牛皮制成的鞭子。 The drum skin was tightly strapped over the circle rawhide laces.鼓皮的一圈被生牛皮紧紧地勒住了。

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