man went into a pet shop and told the owner that he wanted to buy a pet. But, he didn't want your ordinary, garden variety pet! No, he wanted a pet that could do everything!
      
      The shop owner suggested a faithful dog.
      
      The man replied, "Come on, a dog?"
      
      The owner said, "How about a cat?"
      
      The man replied, "No way! A cat certainly can't do everything. I want a pet that can do everything!"
      
      The shop owner thought for a minute, then said, "I've got it! A centipede!"
      
      The man said, "A centipede? I can't imagine a centipede doing everything, but okay... I'll try a centipede." So he got the centipede home and said to the centipede, "Clean the kitchen."
      
      Thirty minutes later, he walked into the kitchen and... it was immaculate! All the dishes and silverware were washed, dried, and put away; the counter-tops cleaned; the appliances sparkling¹; the floor waxed. He was absolutely amazed.
      
      He then said to the centipede, "Go clean the living room." Twenty minutes later, he walked into the living room. The carpet has been vacuumed; the furniture cleaned and dusted; the pillows on the sofa plumped²; and the plants watered.
      
      The man thought to himself, "This is the most amazing thing I've ever seen. This really is a pet that can do everything!"
      
      Next he says to the centipede, "Run down to the corner and get me a newspaper."
      
      The centipede walks out the door. 10 minutes later... no centipede. 20 minutes later... no centipede. 30 minutes later... no centipede.
      
      By this point the man was wondering what was going on. The centipede should have been back in a couple of minutes.
      
      45 minutes later... still no centipede! He couldn't imagine what had happened. Did the centipede run away? Did it get run over by a car? Where was that centipede?
      
      So he went to the front door, opened it ... and there was the centipede sitting right outside.
      
      The man said, "Hey!!! I sent you down to the corner store 45 minutes ago to get me a newspaper. What happened?!"
      
      The centipede says, "I'm goin'! I'm goin'! I'm just puttin' on my shoes!"

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