A mouse and a lion were drinking in a bar, as they did every Friday, when a giraffe walked in.

 

"Get a load of her" said the mouse.

 

"Well, why not try your luck?" replied the lion. The mouse thought for a moment, and decided¹ the lion was right. So, he took a shot, straightened his tie, and walked over to her. Within five minutes they're out the door and into the night.

 

The next day, the lion was drinking alone in the bar, when the mouse staggered in. The mouse looked completely worn out, barely able to hold himself up. The lion helped his pal² up on to a stool, poured a drink down his throat, and said, "What the hell happened to you? I saw you leave with the giraffe. What happened after that?"

 

The mouse replied, "She was really something. We went out to dinner, had a couple of glasses of wine, and she invited me back to her place to spend the night. Oh man! I've never had a night like it!"

 

"But how come you look so exhausted³?" asked the lion.

 

"Well" said the mouse, "between the kissing and the screwing, I must have run a thousand miles!"

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