This guy walks into a bar near a concert hall with an octopus¹ under his arm and says, "I'll bet any of you that my octopus can play any instrument that you give him."
Two guys bet fifty dollars each that the octopus can't play their instruments.

The first guy hands over his French horn and the octopus starts to play it.

The second guy hands over his tuba and sure enough the octopus starts to play it.

The bartender then walks into the back room and comes back five minutes later with a set of bagpipes³ and bets all the money in the drawer that the octopus wouldn't be able to play it. He hands over the bagpipes to the octopus and waits.

After about a minute of watching the octopus run its tentacles⁴ over the bagpipe² the owner of the octopus says, "Come on now! Play it!"

The octopus replies, "What do you mean play it?! If I can figure out how to get the plaid pajamas⁵ off of it, I'm gonna screw it!"