How Many Dogs Does It Take to Change A Light Bulb?
      
      Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
      
      Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.
      
      Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
      
      Rottweiler: Make me.
      
      Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
      
      Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!
      
      German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter¹ patrol² to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
      
      Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.
      
      Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb?
      
      Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
      
      Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there ...
      
      Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
      
      Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle .
      
      Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
      
      The Cat's Answer: Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage³?