There's a guy who owns a parrot that swears like a sailor. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. Trouble is, the guy who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul¹ mouth is driving him crazy.

One day, it gets to be too much. The guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him hard and yells, "QUIT IT!" But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever. Then the guy gets mad and says, "OK for you." He locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet.

This really aggravates² the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of vulgarities that would make a veteran sailor blush. At this point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer.

For the first few seconds there is a terrible din³. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly gets very, very quiet . At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's worried enough to open the freezer door.

The bird calmly climbs onto the man's outstretched arm and says, "Awfully⁴ sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on." The man is astounded⁵. He can't understand the transformation⁶ that has come over the parrot. Then the parrot says, "By the way, what did that chicken ever do to you?"

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