Recent newspaper articles are touting¹ a new treatment for impotence. The treatment consists of injecting a drug into the base of the penis with a small "painless" needle, almost guaranteeing an erection of massive proportion ("The best ever in my life" says Joe F. Lacid). Not content to just be big, it will last for TWO WHOLE HOURS. Now, my question is:

WHAT WILL I DO FOR FOLLOWING HOUR & 55 MINUTES?

Here are some suggestions: Use it as a lightning rod Set it up as a weather vane Try it as a swizzle stick (not a coffee stirrer) Play Tether Ball Use it as a fishing pole Be patriotic - use it as a Flag Pole Its a handy coat rack With an appropriate partner, its a Jousting Lance Play pool with your custom Cue Stick Star Wars Light Sabre A Flight Simulator Joy Stick Drive around, use it as you Shift Lever Summer Olympics - try the Pole Vault Your own Karaoke Microphone Its a Magic Wand - wave it at someone Play Ball - Its a Fungo Bat
and
It can be your kitty's new scratching post

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