Life Before AOL_愚人笑话

Life Before AOL

文章来源：文章作者：发布时间：2006-11-27 02:18 字体： [大中小]　进入论坛

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Before AOL group sex meant the risk of STD's. Now you run the risk of getting Carpal Tunnel Syndrome¹. Before AOL family reunions were needed just to touch base, and the main topic was how Cousin Jed was in jail. Now IM's are used to touch base and they start flying as cousin Jed is TOS'd for soliciting² passwords. Before AOL teens would be embarrassed to go to the local news-stand and pick up a copy of playboy. Now you have to hide the credit cards to keep them from buying "Live Nudies" on the Internet. Before AOL you sat down and explained to your teen about using condoms. Now you find yourself out buying a spill-proof keyboard. Before AOL your mother ordered pizza from a paper menu. Now she orders from a "virtual" pizza shop, and gets pissed when the delivery never comes. Before AOL your husband sent flowers for your B-day, Valentines, etc. Now He shows his affection by sending you roses from a virtual florist³, and justifies⁴ it by stating, "They will never die." Before AOL you had sex in bed with your spouse⁵. Now you expect your significant other to sign on with Big44D4U or HungLo10 respectively. Before AOL you dined out. Now you scrape last nights meal from your keyboard. Before AOL, You would get upset that your wife went shopping. Now she can shop till she drops just so long as you hide the credit card. Before AOL the ugliest person you had ever met made a pass at you and you shot them down grimacing⁶. Now you have no clue as to who that person really is that you cybered last night. Before AOL people used terrible pick up lines at the bar. Now they bombard you with IM's asking you to get nekkid. Before AOL teachers could go to the library, look inside an Encyclopaedia⁷ and tell if you had plagiarised the hell out of it. Now they can surf the web for years and still have no clue. Before AOL people would prejudge you by your physical appearance and /or abilities. Now they listen to what you have to say before they make a decision.

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收听单词发音

1 syndrome
n.综合病症；并存特性
参考例句：
The Institute says that an unidentified virus is to blame for the syndrome. 该研究所表示,引起这种综合症的是一种尚未确认的病毒。 Results indicated that 11 fetuses had Down syndrome. 结果表明有11个胎儿患有唐氏综合征。

2 soliciting
v.恳求( solicit的现在分词 )；（指娼妇）拉客；索求；征求
参考例句：
A prostitute was soliciting on the street. 一名妓女正在街上拉客。来自《简明英汉词典》 China Daily is soliciting subscriptions. 《中国日报》正在征求订户。来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

3 florist
n.花商；种花者
参考例句：
The florist bunched the flowers up.花匠把花捆成花束。 Could you stop at that florist shop over there?劳驾在那边花店停一下好不好？

4 justifies
证明…有理( justify的第三人称单数 )；为…辩护；对…作出解释；为…辩解（或辩护）
参考例句：
Their frequency of use both justifies and requires the memorization. 频繁的使用需要记忆，也促进了记忆。来自About Face 3交互设计精髓 In my judgement the present end justifies the means. 照我的意见，只要目的正当，手段是可以不计较的。

5 spouse
n.配偶(指夫或妻)
参考例句：
Her spouse will come to see her on Sunday.她的丈夫星期天要来看她。 What is the best way to keep your spouse happy in the marriage?在婚姻中保持配偶幸福的最好方法是什么？

6 grimacing
v.扮鬼相，做鬼脸( grimace的现在分词 )
参考例句：
But then Boozer drove past Gasol for a rattling, grimacing slam dunk. 可布泽尔单吃家嫂，以一记强有力的扣篮将比分超出。来自互联网 The martyrdom of Archbishop Cranmer, said the don at last, grimacing with embarrassment. 最后那位老师尴尬地做个鬼脸，说，这是大主教克莱默的殉道士。来自互联网

7 encyclopaedia
n.百科全书
参考例句：
An encyclopaedia contains a lot of knowledge.百科全书包含很多知识。 This is an encyclopaedia of philosophy.这是本哲学百科全书。

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