What do you call a lawyer with an I. Q. of 50? Your honor.

What do you call a lawyer whose gone bad? Senator.

What is the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline? You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline!

What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer? The tick stops draining you and drops off after you're dead.

What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start!

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving.

What is the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road? There are skid¹ marks in front of the dog.

What is the difference between a dead lawyer and a squished skunk² in the road? The vultures will eat the skunk.