Question and answer jokes_司法笑话

Question and answer jokes

文章来源：文章作者：发布时间：2006-09-29 06:28 字体： [大中小]　进入论坛

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Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung?
A: You can't get a finger between the rope and his neck!

Q: If you are stranded¹ on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?
A: Shoot the lawyer twice.

Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start!

Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving.

Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid² marks in front of the dog.

Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.

Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.

Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?
A: To practice.

A command was given to a dog: "SPEAK!"
The dog said in return: "Not without my lawyer present!"

Q: Why is going to a meeting of the Bar Association like going into a bait shop?
A: Because of the abundance of suckers, leeches³, maggots and nightcrawlers

Q: Why are there so many lawyers in the U.S.?
A: Because St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland.

Q: What?s the difference between a lawyer and a herd⁴ of buffalo⁵?
A: The lawyer charges more.

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收听单词发音

1 stranded
a.搁浅的，进退两难的
参考例句：
He was stranded in a strange city without money. 他流落在一个陌生的城市里，身无分文，一筹莫展。 I was stranded in the strange town without money or friends. 我困在那陌生的城市，既没有钱，又没有朋友。

2 skid
v.打滑 n.滑向一侧；滑道，滑轨
参考例句：
He braked suddenly,causing the front wheels to skid.他突然剎车，使得前轮打了滑。 The police examined the skid marks to see how fast the car had been travelling.警察检查了车轮滑行痕迹，以判断汽车当时开得有多快。

3 leeches
n.水蛭( leech的名词复数 )；蚂蟥；榨取他人脂膏者；医生
参考例句：
The usurers are leeches;they have drained us dry. 高利贷者是吸血鬼，他们吸干了我们的血汗。来自《简明英汉词典》 Does it run in the genes to live as leeches? 你们家是不是遗传的，都以欺压别人为生？来自电影对白

4 herd
n.兽群，牧群；vt.使集中，把…赶在一起
参考例句：
She drove the herd of cattle through the wilderness.她赶着牛群穿过荒野。 He had no opinions of his own but simply follow the herd.他从无主见，只是人云亦云。

5 buffalo
n.(北美)野牛；(亚洲)水牛
参考例句：
Asian buffalo isn't as wild as that of America's. 亚洲水牛比美洲水牛温顺些。 The boots are made of buffalo hide. 这双靴子是由水牛皮制成的。

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