A man who was to be investigated by the Inland Revenue, asked his accountant for advice on what to wear.

"Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let him think you are a pauper¹." the accountant replied.

Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice.

"Do not let them intimidate² you. Wear your most elegant suit and tie."

Confused, the man asked a friend, told him of the conflicting advice, and aked what he should do.

"Let me tell you a story," replied his friend.

"A woman, about to be married, asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night and was told 'Wear a heavy, long, flannel³ nightgown that goes right up to your neck.'

When she asked her best friend, she was told 'Wear your most sexy negligee, with a v-neck right down to your navel'."

The man said "What does all this have to do with my problem with the IR?"

His friend replied, "No matter what you wear, you are going to get screwed."