Jack¹ was going to be married to Jill, so his father sat him down for a little fireside chat.....

 

He said, "Jack, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our honeymoon² suite³, I took off my pants and handed them to your mother, and said, 'Here, try these on.'

 

"So, she did and said, 'These are too big, I can't wear them.'

 

"I replied, 'Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will.'

 

"Ever since that night we have never had any problems."

 

"Hmmm," said Jack. He thought that might be a good thing to try. So on his honeymoon, Jack took off his pants and said to Jill, "Here try these on."

 

So she did and said, "These are too large, they don't fit me."

 

Jack said, "Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will, and I don't want you to ever forget that."

 

Then Jill took off her pants and handed them to Jack and said, "Here, you try on mine."

 

So he did and said, "I can't get into your pants."

 

Jill said, "Exactly. And if you don't change your smart ass⁴ attitude, you never will."

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