A newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor¹ told them,

"We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain² from sex for one whole month."

The couple agreed and after two-and-a-half weeks returned to the Church.

When the pastor ushers³ them into his office, the wife is crying and the husband obviously very depressed⁴.

"You are back so soon ... is there a problem?" the pastor inquired.

"We are terribly ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain from sex for the required month ..." the young man replied sadly.

The pastor asked him what happened.

"Well, the first week was difficult ... however, we managed to abstain through sheer willpower. The second week was terrible, but with the use of prayer, we managed to abstain."

"However, the third week was unbearable⁵. We tried cold showers, prayer, reading from the Bible ... anything to keep our minds off sex.

Then one afternoon, my wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it. When she bent⁶ over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust⁷ and had my way with her right then and there." admitted the man shame facially.

"You understand this means you will not be welcome in our church," stated the pastor.

"We know." said the young man, hanging his head. "We're not welcome at Home Depot⁸ any more either.

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