She's been on her knees more times than Billy Graham.
She's been laid on more kitchen floors than linoleum1.
She's done more screwing than Black and Decker.
She's responsible for more merry men than Robin2 Hood3.
She's turned more tricks than Harry4 Houdini.
She's been boarded more times than Amtrak.
She's been mounted more often than Trigger.
She's been involved with more animals than Marlin Perkins.
She's entertained more troops than Bob Hope.
She's been at more bedsides than Dr. Kildare.
She's been turned more ways than Rubik's Cube.
She's spent more time under men than barstools.
She's seen more traffic than the George Washington Bridge.
She's had more turnovers5 than the International House of Pancakes.
She's been under more sheets than the Ku Klux Klan.
She's had more marines land on her than on Iwo Jima.
Her body has been declared a national recreation area.
Her diaphragms come with a service contract.
She has an IUD with a beeper.
She uses industrial strength douche.
Her gynecologist entered her in the Grand Canyon6 look-alike contest.
Her underwear is by Rubbermaid.
Her pantyhose has a pet door.
She was hospitalized for six months when a truck driver mistook her for the Holland Tunnel.
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