the perfect day_成人笑话

the perfect day

文章来源：文章作者：发布时间：2006-12-16 06:08 字体： [大中小]　进入论坛

(单词翻译:双击或拖选)

The Perfect Day - Her

8:45 Wake up to hugs and kisses
9:00 5 lbs lighter¹ on the scale
9:30 Light Breakfast
11:00 Sunbathe
12:30 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe
1:45 Shopping
2:30 Run into boyfriend's/husband's ex and notice she's gained 30 lbs
3:00 Facial, massage², nap
7:30 Candlelight dinner for two and dancing
10:00 Make love
11:30 Pillow talk in his big strong arms

The Perfect Day - Him

6:45 Alarm.
7:00 Shower and massage.
7:30 Blowjob.
7:45 Massive dump while reading USA Today sports section.
8:15 Limo arrives, Stoli Bloody³ Marys.
8:30 Butler Aviation, O'Hare Field, Lear Jet to Augusta, Georgia.
9:30 Front nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club.
11:30 Lunch - 2 dozen oysters⁴, 3 Heinekens.
12:30 Blowjob.
12:45 Back nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club.
2:30 Limo to Augusta Airport, Bombay Sapphire⁵ Martini.
3:30 Nassau, Bahamas, Afternoon fishing with all female crew (topless). Sex for each fish caught. Catch 1249 lb. Blue Marlin. Grilled⁶ tuna and steamed lobster⁷ appetizers⁸, six Heinekens, nap.
6:15 Blowjob.
6:30 Lear Jet return flight, total body massage in transit⁹.
7:30 Shit, shower, shave.
8:00 Watch CNN Live coverage¹⁰ of Bill Clinton's resignation. Hillary and Al Gore¹¹ are indicted¹² in the same scandal (which involves graphic¹³ pictures and large farm animals).
9:00 Dinner at Ritz Carlton, Oysters Casino, 20 oz. Filet¹⁴ mignons (rare), Gorgonzola salad, Fettucini Alfredo, Chateau¹⁵ Lafite Rothschild 1963 (magnum) creme brute¹⁶, Louis XII Cognac, Cohiba Lancero
10:30 Sex with 3 women, all from different countries
11:30 Whirlpool, steam and massage. Women quietly get dressed, hail cab and leave. Midnight Blowjob. Sleep

点击

收听单词发音

1 lighter
n.打火机，点火器；驳船；v.用驳船运送；light的比较级
参考例句：
The portrait was touched up so as to make it lighter.这张画经过润色，色调明朗了一些。 The lighter works off the car battery.引燃器利用汽车蓄电池打火。

2 massage
n.按摩，揉；vt.按摩，揉，美化，奉承，篡改数据
参考例句：
He is really quite skilled in doing massage.他的按摩技术确实不错。 Massage helps relieve the tension in one's muscles.按摩可使僵硬的肌肉松弛。

3 bloody
adj.非常的的；流血的；残忍的；adv.很；vt.血染
参考例句：
He got a bloody nose in the fight.他在打斗中被打得鼻子流血。 He is a bloody fool.他是一个十足的笨蛋。

4 oysters
牡蛎( oyster的名词复数 )
参考例句：
We don't have oysters tonight, but the crayfish are very good. 我们今晚没有牡蛎供应。但小龙虾是非常好。 She carried a piping hot grill of oysters and bacon. 她端出一盘滚烫的烤牡蛎和咸肉。

5 sapphire
n.青玉，蓝宝石；adj.天蓝色的
参考例句：
Now let us consider crystals such as diamond or sapphire.现在让我们考虑象钻石和蓝宝石这样的晶体。 He left a sapphire ring to her.他留给她一枚蓝宝石戒指。

6 grilled
adj. 烤的, 炙过的, 有格子的动词grill的过去式和过去分词形式
参考例句：
He was grilled for two hours before the police let him go. 他被严厉盘查了两个小时后，警察才放他走。 He was grilled until he confessed. 他被严加拷问，直到他承认为止。

7 lobster
n.龙虾，龙虾肉
参考例句：
The lobster is a shellfish.龙虾是水生贝壳动物。 I like lobster but it does not like me.我喜欢吃龙虾，但它不适宜于我的健康。

8 appetizers
n.开胃品( appetizer的名词复数 )；促进食欲的活动；刺激欲望的东西；吊胃口的东西
参考例句：
Here is the egg drop and appetizers to follow. 这是您要的蛋花汤和开胃品。来自互联网 Would you like appetizers or a salad to go with that? 你要不要小菜或色拉？来自互联网

9 transit
n.经过，运输；vt.穿越，旋转；vi.越过
参考例句：
His luggage was lost in transit.他的行李在运送中丢失。 The canal can transit a total of 50 ships daily.这条运河每天能通过50条船。

10 coverage
n.报导，保险范围，保险额，范围，覆盖
参考例句：
There's little coverage of foreign news in the newspaper.报纸上几乎没有国外新闻报道。 This is an insurance policy with extensive coverage.这是一项承保范围广泛的保险。

11 gore
n.凝血，血污；v.（动物）用角撞伤，用牙刺破；缝以补裆；顶
参考例句：
The fox lay dying in a pool of gore.狐狸倒在血泊中奄奄一息。 Carruthers had been gored by a rhinoceros.卡拉瑟斯被犀牛顶伤了。

12 indicted
控告，起诉( indict的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句：
The senator was indicted for murder. 那位参议员被控犯谋杀罪。 He was indicted by a grand jury on two counts of murder. 他被大陪审团以两项谋杀罪名起诉。

13 graphic
adj.生动的，形象的，绘画的，文字的，图表的
参考例句：
The book gave a graphic description of the war.这本书生动地描述了战争的情况。 Distinguish important text items in lists with graphic icons.用图标来区分重要的文本项。

14 filet
n.肉片；鱼片
参考例句：
They feasted us on filet mignon and strawberry shortcake.他们拿出鱼片和草莓松脆饼盛情款待我们。 You cannot make filet mignon out of chopped liver.你不能从品质差的肉制造品质高的肉。

15 chateau
n.城堡，别墅
参考例句：
The house was modelled on a French chateau.这房子是模仿一座法国大别墅建造的。 The chateau was left to itself to flame and burn.那府第便径自腾起大火燃烧下去。

16 brute
n.野兽，兽性
参考例句：
The aggressor troops are not many degrees removed from the brute.侵略军简直象一群野兽。 That dog is a dangerous brute.It bites people.那条狗是危险的畜牲，它咬人。

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