One day a girl decided¹ to buy some crotchless panties to surprise her boyfriend.

She went and bought them, got home, put them on and waited. When the boyfriend got home there she was spread eagle on the bed with only her panties and bra on. "Come over here baby." she says smiling.

The boyfriend backs off, "If your pussy² can do that to your panties - I ain't going any where near it!"