Two doctors, a psychiatrist¹ and a proctologist, opened an office in a small town and put up a sign reading: "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: Hysterias and Posteriors." The town council was not happy with the sign, so the doctors changed it to read, "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids."

 

This was not acceptable either, so in an effort to satisfy the council, they changed the sign to "Catatonics and High Colonics." No go.

 

Next, they tried "Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives." Thumbs down again.

 

Then came "Minds and Behinds." Still no good.

 

Another attempt resulted in "Lost Souls and Butt² Holes." Unacceptable again!

 

So they tried "Analysis and Anal Cysts." Not a chance. "Nuts and Butts³?" No way. "Freaks and Cheeks?" Still no go. "Loons and Moons?" Forget it.

 

Almost at their wit's end, the doctors finally came up with: "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Odds⁴ and Ends."

 

Everyone loved it.

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