You just haven’t found the place where you fit in yet. Well, okay, that’s fine, but what now you’re wondering what to say when people ask you, “Where do you work?” or “What do you do?” These seem to be the quintessential questions that Americans like to ask each other when they first meet. How can you reply?

你只是还没找到一个适合自己的地方。啊，好吧，可是现在你会想，当人们问你：“在哪里工作？”或“你是做什么的?”，这些美国人初次见面时惯用的问题，怎么回答？

I invite you, first of all, not to feel ashamed that you aren’t working. I know it can be daunting¹ to manage your finances, and the anxiety about the date that you’ll have a job can get overwhelming. Instead, think about how you can connect. You’re meeting someone new. What do you want from the interaction? Do you want us to feel sorry for you, dear unemployed² person? Or could you be a bit vulnerable and ask for help? You could say something like: “I’m between jobs. I just left a company that does X. And now, I’m looking to join a company that does Y. Hey, I wonder if you know any companies like that?” or … “I am a job seeker (Hey, that’s a much cooler title than being the unemployed person, right? How does that feel?). I am committed to finding an employer who would value my talents in X, Y, and Z. I’d love your ideas about companies that might fit that bill.” See, now you’re engaging the other person.

首先，请不要因为自己没工作而感到羞愧。我知道管理你的财务会令人畏惧，而找工作时的约会可能让人焦虑、难以应对。相反，考虑一下自己该如何交流。你正在结识新朋友。你希望从交往中得到什么？你要我们为你感到遗憾吗，亲爱的没工作的人？ 或者你能脆弱一点，寻求帮助吗？你可以说：“我正在求职中，我刚刚离开了一家从事X的公司。现在我在找一家做Y的公司。 嗨，你了解这样的公司吗？”或者说；“我是一名求职者(嗨，这可比‘无业人’的头衔酷多了，是不是？感觉如何?) 我在努力找一位重视我在X，Y和Z方面的才华的雇主。我很想听听你对符合条件的公司的看法。”瞧，现在你正在吸引对方呢。

You’re not trying to get them to find you the job … it’s not that strong a tone. You’re inviting³ them to help out. That’s vulnerable. But you’re not victimizing yourself by calling yourself “unemployed.” You’re actively⁴ pursuing new avenues for your job search.

你并没有让对方为你找工作……语气没那么强烈。你在找他们帮忙。这是“脆弱”。 但是你没有牺牲自己，自称“失业人员”。你在为求职积极地寻找新路子。

Changing the language of “I’m unemployed” to one of the alternatives I’ve suggested is a way to shift your attitude and energy. I encourage you to notice how different words make you feel. Unemployed is not generally a pretty word. And you don’t have to use it as a label for yourself. You might fight me here and say, “But it’s true. I’m not employed.” And I’d tell you simply, “If you want to hang on to that energy, be my guest. But if you’d like to shift that energy sooner, rather than later, don’t wait for an employer to change the picture. Decide to lighten up on yourself and call yourself something else.”

把“失业”这句话变成我建议的说法是一种转变态度和精力的方式。我建议你注意下不同的话给你带来的感觉有何不同。总的来说，失业不是个漂亮的字眼。你用不着给自己贴上这样的标签。可能你要反驳我了：“但是事实如此，我失业了。”我会简单地告诉你：“如果你希望对此揪住不放，请随便。但是如果迟早你会希望改变这一状态。别等着某雇主来改变你的状况。下决心让自己放松，以别的方式介绍自己。”

Follow this advice and I bet you’ll be employed much sooner! I’d love to hear how this suggestion works for you.

遵循这个建议，我打赌你很快就会找到工作! 我很希望了解这个建议对你是如何起效的。