Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. （Henry Youngman）

有人问我和我老婆婚姻长久的秘诀：我们俩口子很会享受生活，每周两次去餐厅吃饭。烛光、晚餐、轻音乐、跳舞。她周二去一次，我周五去一次。

 

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. （Rodney Dangerfield）

我和我老婆幸福地生活了20年。然后…我们就相遇了。

 

Marriage isn't a word…… it's a sentence.　（King Vidor）

婚姻不是一个词语… …它是一个判决（句子）。

 

Marriage requires a man to purchase 4 types of "Ring" - engagement ring, wedding ring, suffe-ring and endu-ring.

婚姻需要男人购买4种“ring”（戒指） ——订婚ring，结婚ring， suffe-ring （苦难）和endu-ring（忍耐）

 

Marriage life is full of excitement and frustration¹. In the first year, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. And in the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

婚姻生活充满了兴奋和沮丧。第一年，男人说话女人在听，第二年，女人说话男人在听，第三年，两人同时说话，邻居们在听。

 

Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

爱情是一场长长甜甜的梦，婚姻就是闹钟。

 

They say that when a man holds a woman's hand and before marriage. It is love. After marriage is self-defense.

他们说：在婚前，男人紧握女人的手，那是爱；如果是婚后，那是自卫。

 

When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

当新婚男人看上去很幸福，我们知道是为什么。但结婚十年的男人看上去很幸福，我们想知道是为什么。

 

We don't love qualities, we love persons; sometimes by reason of their defects as well as of their qualities. （Jacques Maritain）

我们爱的不是优点，我们爱的是人，有时是因为他们的缺陷，附带着他们的优点。

 

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry². （Rita Rudner）

我认为穿过耳洞的男人对结婚准备得更为充分。他们已经经历了痛苦，而且购买了珠宝。

 

It is not uncommon³ for slight acquaintances to get married, but a couple really have to know each other to get divorced.

这并非罕见：稍微相识一些就可能结婚，但夫妇还真得互相了解才会离婚。

 

To marry is to halve⁴ your rights and double your duties. （Arthur Schopenhauer）

结婚就是将你的权利减半，将你的职责加倍。

 

Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing. （Goethe）

爱情是理想的事情，婚姻是现实的事情。

 

A happy home is one in which each spouse⁵ grants the possibility that the other may be right, though neither believes it. （Don Fraser）

一个幸福的家庭是这样的：双方都认为对方有可能是对的，尽管双方都不相信对方是对的。

 

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, and always with the same person. （Mignon McLaughlin）

一个成功的婚姻需要恋爱很多次，而且始终是与同一个人恋爱。

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