精评2004年考研作文
文章来源: 文章作者: 发布时间:2007-03-28 07:18 字体: [ ]  进入论坛
(单词翻译:双击或拖选)
多少年来,大家一直都是在当学生写作文,今天就换一个角色,当一回老师判作文,这可绝非仅仅寻求感觉的刺激!最重要的是,我们要用上面讲的高分作文的评判标准和差作文的劣迹表现,分别对2004年漫画考题的高、低分实考样卷进行评判打分,然后“对症下药”、“量体裁衣”,才有出奇的效果啊!

 

  As every thread of gold is valuable, so every moment of time.

  一寸光阴一寸金。

  2004年考研作文实例:

  Directions:

  Study the following drawing carefully and write an essay in which you should

  终点又是新起点

  1) describe the drawing,

  2) interpret1 its meaning, and

  3) support your view with example.

  You should write about 200 words neatly2 on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)

  高分作文:

  The cartoon depicts3 a vivid picture in which an athlete, dripping4 sweat, is rushing to the end. Obviously5, he wins the match, but this is not the key message conveyed6 by the picture. The most striking7 feature of the drawing is that the same line is marked as both “the start” and “the end”, which indicates that although the athlete came to the finish, a new race is waiting for him.

  The idea conveyed by the cartoon is apparent8: the end is a new start. It is widely accepted that we should not be satisfied with the present achievement, for nowadays new challenges and competition never stop. The market economy and competitive9 society drives many people studying hard for higher academic degrees, some of them even seeking the opportunities to study abroad. We should spare no efforts improving ourselves, master high technology and professional skills. Then we can make use of it to devote ourselves to society.

  Take my father as an example. He was denied higher education for historical reasons. But by self?study he became a technician10 in a factory. Many people thought he was content. But he never stopped studying. He took courses of law in his spare time. Later he became a lawyer. “The finishing point is just a new starting point”, he said to me. (219 words)

  该文在2004年的考研阅卷中获得18分(满分20分)的好成绩,是有原因的。内容切题,表达清楚,语义连贯,最大的特点是句式富有变化,基本功扎实。文章的第一句,作者就用了定语从句、分词结构两种形式,使阅卷人眼前一亮,接下来分析图画的寓意,也很简洁到位。最后一段的举例也是一个亮点,运用父亲不断学习的事例来进一步论证观点,具体而贴切,不落俗套。另外,句子结构和用词正确,但也有个别错误,如上文第二段标出的“master”与“improve”并列,应用“mastering”的形式,但毕竟“瑕不掩瑜”。

  低分作文:

  All things in their being are good for something.

  天生我才必有用。The place of end point is also the starting point. From the picture, we can see a young man who is running toward11 the end point, it?s very clearly to show that every one of us must effort and can?t stop for the aim of us in the fierce competition society. As we all know, firstly, a young man who study and work in the modern society need have a spirit of to study hard and activity, to keep a good situation and position.

  For instance12, this year is my ninth year after when I graduated, after nine years, I?m always felling need to continue study to improve my knowledge of major. because, this society developing is so rapidly, if I can?t catch more knowledge of now about my major, I will can?t keep the continous developing society. So I think, personally, It?s like the sportman of the picture that only continue to run and effort toward the place of end point, that is necessary to young people in the society.

  In summary, my final conclusion is only to continue running toward end place and the place is also a new stating for another aim, only so. It?s a spirit of all young people. although the road is very hardship. but this is very important to us. (216 words)

  这篇文章得分6分,远远低于及格分12分,可能作者还有点“委屈”,“我的字数也符合要求,也是三段,也有举例,也有分析,为什么这么不公平呢?”其实,文章虽然基本包括了题目所要求的内容,但条理不清,语言错误很多,其中很多是严重的错误,如文中用黑体标记出的地方。

  怎么样?通过对2004年漫画考题的高、低分实考样卷进行研读,你是不是对自己的作文档次有了一个初步的估计?对自己今后在写作方面的发展方向有了一个清楚的认识?能做到这一点,你今天的学习就达标了。



点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 interpret G5lxP     
vt.解释,说明,理解;vi.作口译
参考例句:
  • We have to interpret his words in a modern light.我们不得不用现代观点来解释他的话。
  • Please interpret the comments of our foreign guest.请把外宾的话翻译一下。
2 neatly ynZzBp     
adv.整洁地,干净地,灵巧地,熟练地
参考例句:
  • Sailors know how to wind up a long rope neatly.水手们知道怎样把一条大绳利落地缠好。
  • The child's dress is neatly gathered at the neck.那孩子的衣服在领口处打着整齐的皱褶。
3 depicts fd8ee09c0b2264bb6b44abf7282d37f6     
描绘,描画( depict的第三人称单数 ); 描述
参考例句:
  • The book vividly depicts French society of the 1930s. 这本书生动地描绘了20 世纪30 年代的法国社会。
  • He depicts the sordid and vulgar sides of life exclusively. 他只描写人生肮脏和庸俗的一面。
4 dripping dripping     
n.滴;滴下;滴下物;油滴v.(使)滴下( drip的现在分词 );滴出;含有;充满
参考例句:
  • Her face was dripping with sweat. 她脸上汗水淋淋。
  • His hand was dripping blood. 他的手在滴血。 来自《简明英汉词典》
5 obviously uIKxo     
adv.显然;明白地
参考例句:
  • Obviously they were putting him to a severe test.显然他们是在给他以严峻的考验。
  • Obviously he was lying.显然他是在撒谎。
6 conveyed c7bf70d72d4a819b47f82b6ba89fe417     
v.运输( convey的过去式和过去分词 );运送;输送;表达
参考例句:
  • The ambassador personally conveyed the president's message to the king. 大使将总统的口信亲自转达给国王。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • The ambassador personally conveyed the president's message to the premier. 大使亲自向总理转达了总统的问候。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
7 striking PhbzAL     
adj.显著的,惹人注目的,容貌出众的
参考例句:
  • There is a striking difference between Jane and Mary.简和玛丽之间有显著的差异。
  • What is immediately striking is how resourceful the children are.最令人注目的是孩子们的机智聪明。
8 apparent FMsyP     
adj.表面上的,貌似真实的,显然的,明明白白的
参考例句:
  • The apparent truth was really a lie.表面上看似实话,实际上是个谎言。
  • His guilt is apparent to all.他的罪恶尽人皆知。
9 competitive yOkz5     
adj.竞争的,比赛的,好竞争的,有竞争力的
参考例句:
  • Some kinds of business are competitive.有些商业是要竞争的。
  • These businessmen are both competitive and honourable.这些商人既有竞争性又很诚实。
10 technician AqswV     
n.技术员,技师
参考例句:
  • The technician is busy repairing the machine.技师正忙于修理那台机器。
  • A skilled technician takes years to train.一个熟练的技师需要数年时间才能培训出来。
11 toward on6we     
prep.对于,关于,接近,将近,向,朝
参考例句:
  • Suddenly I saw a tall figure approaching toward the policeman.突然间我看到一个高大的身影朝警察靠近。
  • Upon seeing her,I smiled and ran toward her. 看到她我笑了,并跑了过去。
12 instance 66oxM     
n.例,例证,实例
参考例句:
  • Can you quote me a recent instance?你能给我举一个最近的例子吗?
  • He's a greedy boy,yesterday,for instance,he ate all our biscuits!他是个贪吃的孩子――比如,他昨天把我们的饼干都吃了!
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