GRE考试作文点评:6分范文的构架
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首先是ISSUE部分评分标准:从最高6到0分。

 

  SCORING GUIDE FOR PRESENT YOUR PERSPECTIVE ON AN ISSUE

  GRE ESSAY SCORING GUIDE: PERSPECTIVE ON AN ISSUE SCORE

  6 A 6 paper presents a cogent1, well-articulated analysis of the complexities2 of the issue and demonstrates mastery of the elements of effective writing.

  满分作文的标准:表现出对语言的把握(mastery),对题目的深刻理解(complexities),并且cogent.

  A typical paper in this category

  --develops a position(看到了吗,a position,要选取一个角度) on the issue with insightful reasons and/or persuasive3 examples (看到OR了吗,所以没有例子也可以,如果你可以congent并且给出非常insightful的理由。)

  --sustains a well-focused, well-organized discussion(关于文章结构的要求)

  --expresses ideas clearly and precisely4

  --uses language fluently, with varied5 sentence structure and effective vocabulary (关于语言的要求的,你对语言的mastery就应该从这几个方面体现出来)

  --demonstrates superior facility with the conventions (grammar, usage, and mechanics) of standard written English but may have minor6 flaws(这个minor flaws是建立在不影响理解的基础之上。)

  1--Topic: Generalists vs. Specialists

  Present your perspective on the issue below, using relevant reasons and/or examples to support your views.

  "In our time, specialists of all kinds are highly overrated. We need more generalists -- people who can provide broad perspectives."

  SAMPLE-1 (score:6)

  In this era of rapid social and technological7 change leading to increasing life complexity8 and psychological displacement9, both positive and negative effects among persons in Western society call for a balance in which there are both specialists and generalists.

  这一段非常干净利索的引出来题目的theme: specialist and generalist这个就是general statement。一些朋友拿文章出来修改的时候我经常发现没有一个引子,一个general statement。缺少这个部分的文章是得不到高分的.

  Specialists are necessary insgroupsto allow society as a whole to properly and usefully assimilate the masses of new information and knowledge that have come out of research and have been widely disseminated10 through mass global media.肯定了specialist的必要性。句式不错,几个定语从句套在一起。As the head of Pharmacology at my university once said (and I paraphrase):"I can only research what I do because there are so many who have come before me to whom I can turn for basic knowledge. It is only because of each of the narrowly focussed individuals at each step that a full and true understanding of the complexities of life can be had. Each person can only hold enough knowledge to add one small rung to the ladder, but together we can climb to the moon." This illustrates11 the point that our societies level of knowledge and technology is at a stage in which there simply must be specialists insgroupsfor our society to take advantage of the information available to us.

  Simply put, without specialists, our society would find itself bogged12 down in the Sargasso sea of information overload13. (Figurative expression。) While it was fine for early physicists14 to learn and understand the few laws and ideas that existed during their times, now, no one individual can possibly digest and assimilate all of the knowledge in any given area.

  阐述的很清楚,语言也很简单

  On the other hand, Over specialization means narrow focii in which people can lose the larger picture.

  这个句子一看就知道快要引出另外一个主角—generalist了,这个主题句是对过度专业化的一个否定。

  No one can hope to understand the human body by only inspecting one's own toe-nails. What we learn from a narrow focus may be internally logically coherent but may be irrelevant15 or fallacious within the framework of a broader perspective. Further, if we inspect only our toe-nails, we may conclude that the whole body is hard and white. Useful conclusions and thus perhaps useful inventions must come by sharing among specialists. Simply throwing out various discovieries means we have a pile of useless discoveries, it is only when one can make with them a mosaic16 that we can see that they may form a picture.

  Not only may over-specialization be dangerous in terms of the truth, purity and cohesion17 of knowledge, but it can also serve to drown moral or universall issues.

  出现了generalist开始展开并且将二者结合讨论了Generalists and only generalists can see a broad enough picture to realize and introduce to the world the problems of the environment. With specialization, each person focusses on their research and their goals. Thus, industrialization, expansion, and new technologies are driven ahead. Meanwhile no individual can see the wholisitc view of our global existence in which true advancement18 may mean stifling19 individual specialists for the greater good of all.

  Finally, over-specialization in a people's daily lives and jobs has meant personal and psychological compartmentalization. People are forcedsintospigeon holes early in life (at least by university) and must conciously attempt to consume external forms of stimuli20 and information insgroupsnot to be lost in their small and isolated21 universe. Not only does this make for narrowly focussed and generally pooprly-educated individuals, but it guarantees a sense of loss of community, often followed by a feeling of psychological displacement and personal dissatisfaction.

  讲完了对overspecialization社会的坏处开始讲对individual引起的不好的地方了。用了METAPHOR,很形象

  Without generalists, society becomes inward-looking and eventually inefficient23. Without a society that recongnizes the impotance of braod- mindedness and fora for sharing generalities, individuals become isolated. Thus, while our form of society necessitates24 specialists, generalists are equally important. Specialists drive us forward in a series of thrusts while generalists make sure we are still on the jousting25 field and know what the stakes are.

  再次结合讨论并且陈述二者结合起来的意义。

  ETS打的分数是6分,下面我们来看看ETS对这个文章的评语。

  COMMENTARY

  This is an outstanding response -- insightful, well reasoned, and highly effective in its use of language. The introductory paragraph announces the writer's position on the issue and provides the context within which the writer will develop that position: "In this era of rapid social and technological change leading to increasing life complexity and psychological displacement"

  先肯定了文章的结构和表述。well-reasoned highly effective

  The argument itself has two parts. The first part presents a compelling case for specialization, primarily in the field of medicine. The second part presents an equally compelling, well-organized case against overspecialization based on three main reasons:

  -- logical (narrowly trained specialists often fail to understand the whole)

  -- moral (usually generalists understand what is needed for "the greater good")

  -- personal (specializing/pigeonholing too early can be psychologically damaging)

  The argument's careful line of reasoning is further strengthened by the skillful use of expert testimony26 (quotation from a prominent medical researcher) and vivid metaphor22 (to inspect only one's toenails is to ignore the whole body).

  肯定了其中的引言以及比喻的运用。

  It is not only the reasoning that distinguishes this essay. The language is precise and often figurative ("bogged down in a Sargasso sea of information overload," "a pile of useless discoveries," and "specialists drive us forward in a series of thrusts, while generalists make sure we are still on the jousting field"). The reader is constantly guided through the argument by transitional phrases and ideas that help organize the essay and move the argument forward.这个评语大家要注意。This is an exceptionally fine response to the topic.

  文章简单到这里就结束了,说说我个人的看法。其实这个文章写的很朴实,简单。并算不上非常的精彩,我们以前每日一评所点评过的文章比这个好的有几篇呢。但是,这个文章写的很紧扣主题,没有废话,直来直去,虽然有部分的语法错误,但是不影响对文章的整体理解跟了前面范文点评的朋友是不是有种感觉:这样的文章也算了满分?确实。这个标准说高也高说低也低,其实并不难达到的。

  自己平时可以拿自己的文章和这些ETS打好分数的文章比较然后相对的给自己估一个分数出来。一些朋友以前总是问,你们的每日一评的分数是瞎打出来的吧?错,不是,就是根据ETS的这个标准来的,而且我们的要更严格。这个大家看以前的蛋蛋的和我做的点评就看的出来了。这样满分的文章并不难写,大家多努力,跟ETS的标准多靠近多注意文章的一定要COGENT并且WELL-RESONED而且要围绕中心。否则,语言再好也难拿高分。



点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 cogent hnuyD     
adj.强有力的,有说服力的
参考例句:
  • The result is a cogent explanation of inflation.结果令人信服地解释了通货膨胀问题。
  • He produced cogent reasons for the change of policy.他对改变政策提出了充分的理由。
2 complexities b217e6f6e3d61b3dd560522457376e61     
复杂性(complexity的名词复数); 复杂的事物
参考例句:
  • The complexities of life bothered him. 生活的复杂使他困惑。
  • The complexities of life bothered me. 生活的杂乱事儿使我心烦。
3 persuasive 0MZxR     
adj.有说服力的,能说得使人相信的
参考例句:
  • His arguments in favour of a new school are very persuasive.他赞成办一座新学校的理由很有说服力。
  • The evidence was not really persuasive enough.证据并不是太有说服力。
4 precisely zlWzUb     
adv.恰好,正好,精确地,细致地
参考例句:
  • It's precisely that sort of slick sales-talk that I mistrust.我不相信的正是那种油腔滑调的推销宣传。
  • The man adjusted very precisely.那个人调得很准。
5 varied giIw9     
adj.多样的,多变化的
参考例句:
  • The forms of art are many and varied.艺术的形式是多种多样的。
  • The hotel has a varied programme of nightly entertainment.宾馆有各种晚间娱乐活动。
6 minor e7fzR     
adj.较小(少)的,较次要的;n.辅修学科;vi.辅修
参考例句:
  • The young actor was given a minor part in the new play.年轻的男演员在这出新戏里被分派担任一个小角色。
  • I gave him a minor share of my wealth.我把小部分财产给了他。
7 technological gqiwY     
adj.技术的;工艺的
参考例句:
  • A successful company must keep up with the pace of technological change.一家成功的公司必须得跟上技术变革的步伐。
  • Today,the pace of life is increasing with technological advancements.当今, 随着科技进步,生活节奏不断增快。
8 complexity KO9z3     
n.复杂(性),复杂的事物
参考例句:
  • Only now did he understand the full complexity of the problem.直到现在他才明白这一问题的全部复杂性。
  • The complexity of the road map puzzled me.错综复杂的公路图把我搞糊涂了。
9 displacement T98yU     
n.移置,取代,位移,排水量
参考例句:
  • They said that time is the feeling of spatial displacement.他们说时间是空间位移的感觉。
  • The displacement of all my energy into caring for the baby.我所有精力都放在了照顾宝宝上。
10 disseminated c76621f548f3088ff302305f50de1f16     
散布,传播( disseminate的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • Their findings have been widely disseminated . 他们的研究成果已经广为传播。
  • Berkovitz had contracted polio after ingesting a vaccine disseminated under federal supervision. 伯考维茨在接种了在联邦监督下分发的牛痘疫苗后传染上脊髓灰质炎。
11 illustrates a03402300df9f3e3716d9eb11aae5782     
给…加插图( illustrate的第三人称单数 ); 说明; 表明; (用示例、图画等)说明
参考例句:
  • This historical novel illustrates the breaking up of feudal society in microcosm. 这部历史小说是走向崩溃的封建社会的缩影。
  • Alfred Adler, a famous doctor, had an experience which illustrates this. 阿尔弗莱德 - 阿德勒是一位著名的医生,他有过可以说明这点的经历。 来自中级百科部分
12 bogged BxPzmV     
adj.陷于泥沼的v.(使)陷入泥沼, (使)陷入困境( bog的过去式和过去分词 );妨碍,阻碍
参考例句:
  • The professor bogged down in the middle of his speech. 教授的演讲只说了一半便讲不下去了。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
  • The tractor is bogged down in the mud. 拖拉机陷入了泥沼。 来自《简明英汉词典》
13 overload RmHz40     
vt.使超载;n.超载
参考例句:
  • Don't overload the boat or it will sink.别超载,否则船会沉。
  • Large meals overload the digestive system.吃得太饱会加重消化系统的负担。
14 physicists 18316b43c980524885c1a898ed1528b1     
物理学家( physicist的名词复数 )
参考例句:
  • For many particle physicists, however, it was a year of frustration. 对于许多粒子物理学家来说,这是受挫折的一年。 来自英汉非文学 - 科技
  • Physicists seek rules or patterns to provide a framework. 物理学家寻求用法则或图式来构成一个框架。
15 irrelevant ZkGy6     
adj.不恰当的,无关系的,不相干的
参考例句:
  • That is completely irrelevant to the subject under discussion.这跟讨论的主题完全不相关。
  • A question about arithmetic is irrelevant in a music lesson.在音乐课上,一个数学的问题是风马牛不相及的。
16 mosaic CEExS     
n./adj.镶嵌细工的,镶嵌工艺品的,嵌花式的
参考例句:
  • The sky this morning is a mosaic of blue and white.今天早上的天空是幅蓝白相间的画面。
  • The image mosaic is a troublesome work.图象镶嵌是个麻烦的工作。
17 cohesion dbzyA     
n.团结,凝结力
参考例句:
  • I had to bring some cohesion into the company.我得使整个公司恢复凝聚力。
  • The power of culture is deeply rooted in the vitality,creativity and cohesion of a nation. 文化的力量,深深熔铸在民族的生命力、创造力和凝聚力之中。
18 advancement tzgziL     
n.前进,促进,提升
参考例句:
  • His new contribution to the advancement of physiology was well appreciated.他对生理学发展的新贡献获得高度赞赏。
  • The aim of a university should be the advancement of learning.大学的目标应是促进学术。
19 stifling dhxz7C     
a.令人窒息的
参考例句:
  • The weather is stifling. It looks like rain. 今天太闷热,光景是要下雨。
  • We were stifling in that hot room with all the windows closed. 我们在那间关着窗户的热屋子里,简直透不过气来。
20 stimuli luBwM     
n.刺激(物)
参考例句:
  • It is necessary to curtail or alter normally coexisting stimuli.必需消除或改变正常时并存的刺激。
  • My sweat glands also respond to emotional stimuli.我的汗腺对情绪刺激也能产生反应。
21 isolated bqmzTd     
adj.与世隔绝的
参考例句:
  • His bad behaviour was just an isolated incident. 他的不良行为只是个别事件。
  • Patients with the disease should be isolated. 这种病的患者应予以隔离。
22 metaphor o78zD     
n.隐喻,暗喻
参考例句:
  • Using metaphor,we say that computers have senses and a memory.打个比方,我们可以说计算机有感觉和记忆力。
  • In poetry the rose is often a metaphor for love.玫瑰在诗中通常作为爱的象征。
23 inefficient c76xm     
adj.效率低的,无效的
参考例句:
  • The inefficient operation cost the firm a lot of money.低效率的运作使该公司损失了许多钱。
  • Their communication systems are inefficient in the extreme.他们的通讯系统效率非常差。
24 necessitates 4a421c24d0717e67b81bbcf227596ade     
使…成为必要,需要( necessitate的第三人称单数 )
参考例句:
  • The increase in population necessitates a greater food supply. 人口的增加需要更多食物供应。
  • Your proposal necessitates borrowing money. 你的提议使借款成为必要。
25 jousting 61f54586c2d51ea99148b54cf00febef     
(骑士)骑马用长矛比武( joust的现在分词 )
参考例句:
  • The players happily jousting inside the castle walls didn't see the moat outside widening. 玩家在城墙上幸福地战斗的时候,没有注意到护城河已经开始扩张了。
26 testimony zpbwO     
n.证词;见证,证明
参考例句:
  • The testimony given by him is dubious.他所作的证据是可疑的。
  • He was called in to bear testimony to what the police officer said.他被传入为警官所说的话作证。
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