By: Undergraduate Applicant45   

Subject:   Succesful Princeton Applicant3

Blazing a Trail to Glory

Propelled forward by my surging leg muscles, sweat gushing¹ down my face, the harsh reality of this 3-mile cross-country race has begun to invade my body. My eyes remain intensely focused straight ahead: Grinding away at the dirt along the racecourse, I see three girls from a different team about 100 yards ahead of me. My team needs a contribution from me, I realize, and I make the decision to pass all three of them. Through a cloud of dust I can finally see the distant white line proclaiming the finish. My mind propels my legs to their maximum ability. In these last few seconds of exertion², the months of hard work are paying off. Soaring through the finish, I have achieved flight.

Running is a pure sport, requiring only a pair of shoes and a brain ready to conquer pain. It is a sport that calls for commitment and mental toughness. Through testing myself, I increase my resilience and grow stronger. I unleash³ the power of my mind, and I run. Some people are born with great running ability, and others, like myself, are born with the desire to excel at every challenge. I've become the best runner I can through hard work and dedication⁴. Challenging myself with new goals every day, I run against the forces of gravity and inertia⁵. I love the thrill of competetion -- the euphoric feeling I get when mind overcomes pain.

As a four-year member of my high school cross-country team, I have experienced just about every physical infirmity that comes from running. I have dealt with shin splints, runner's knee, broken toes, and pulled calf⁶ mussels. My orthopedic surgeon took one look at my legs and admitted that I'm "not built to be a runner." Yet, I chose to continue running because of its daily challenges and rewards. I've learned from this sport that by focusing single-mindedly on achieving a goal, I can make any obstacle trivial. I still hear my coach's voice in my head: "If you sacrifice yourself, good things will happen."

As much as a cross-country race requires individual strength physically⁷ and mentally, it also requires a team effort to succeed. Like sisters in a family, the girls I run with understand and respect one another. We remind each other to work harder, eat right, and to accomplish the most we can. Each girl has individual qualities that together produce one spirited body. I provide the determination and inspiration for my team. I set an example for rookie runners, showing them that success comes only from hard work and a positive attitude.

Through my dedication to running, I have become more dedicated⁸ in school. Many of my accomplishments⁹ can somehow be traced back to running: The endurance from running helped me survive my six-hour black belt test in Shaolin Kenpo Karate¹⁰. My ability to utilize¹¹ biofeedback made it easier for me to prepare and relax for my piano recitals¹². And the endorphins kicking in after my daily practice keep my spirits lifted throughout the day. My determination and commitment to achieving goals has prepared me for my next challenge: college. I intend to apply my abilities to my individual studies, as well as to the enrichment of the University community as a whole. Success in life will come from the same dedication to be the best I can be.

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 Essay Number: 1106 - Posted on: Mar¹³ 31, 1999   Expires on: May 1, 1999 CollegeGate LLC  * CollegeGate LLC *

By: Undergraduate Applicant44   

Subject:   Succesful University of California Student3

One of the greatest challenge I've had to overcome was moving from Iran to the United States. Iran was in deep political turmoil¹⁴, as it is today. After long thought and discussion, my parents decided¹⁵ that we should move to America, where my sister and I would have better opportunities for success in life. My dad had moved to America to establish residency for us, and now we were to move there too.

It was late May when we went to Turkey to apply for a Visa. We took a 20-hour bus trip from Urmia, Iran to Istanbul, Turkey. Istanbul was considerably¹⁶ different from Urmia, the city that I had been raised in. To begin with, it was an enormous city compared to the small town that had always been my home. My mom had an enormous load on her shoulders in taking care of me and my four-year-old sister. It was very awkward for all of us to be in a new country, and we felt alone and vulnerable.

When we arrived in Turkey, we didn't know anyone and had to stay in a hotel. Early the next morning we got up and headed to the embassy to apply for a US Visa. Everyone there told us that we were definitely going to be rejected. To our amazement¹⁷, however, we were approved. With our last few dollars we booked a flight, and the next morning we were headed to America.

We got on a plane and were on our way to America. We arrived in Los Angeles at 6:00 P.M. Then my dad arrived. He took us to his house and we slept, all of us exhausted¹⁸ from the long trip. My parents now had to decide what to do so that we could live in America and be financially stable. We decided to move to Illinois so that my mom could get her PhD.

This is where I endured my biggest challenge, one that overshadowed all the other things I'd struggled through. We moved to Champaign, Illinois. My parents registered me for first grade, even though I hadn't even completed kindergarten. Only later did I learn that this decision was to my benefit.

I spoke¹⁹ no English and I had no friends in America. It was very hard for me to cope with this, but I managed to do so. My first day in first grade was probably the hardest day of my entire elementary school career. It was agonizing²⁰ to sit among a roomful of strangers speaking a strange language for six hours. As the days went on, I sought to listen to the students and try to learn something. I realized that I wasn't going to go back to Iran, so I had no choice but to face my challenge and resolve it. And sure enough, I did overcome this obstacle: I soon learned English and found some friends.

This was an incredibly difficult challenge for me to be faced with as a 7 year old boy. It took perseverance²¹, patience, and discipline for me to accomplish my goal. I will use this as an example in my future years in college. Going to college is like moving to a new place; like my move from Iran, I will again find myself in an unfamiliar²² environment with new people. With the experience I've gained from the challenges I have faced, though, I have no doubt that I'll be able to overcome this one, too.