1101
[woman speaks Thai]
1102
Oh, God, 28 hours.
1103
How much longer?
1104
[man] Jones.
Bridg]et Jones, you come now.
1105
[clang]]
1106
Charlie Parker-Knowles,
Assistant Consul1.
1107
Thank God you're here.
1108
Um, shall we...
1109
I really had absolutely
nothing] to do with it.
1110
Jed planned the whole thing].
1111
That's why he snog]g]ed Shazzer,
who's much older than him
1112
and slig]htly past her peak.
1113
Yes, he sounds the most frig]htful shit.
1114
Mmm.
1115
The bore is everyone who g]ets caug]ht
has exactly the same story,
1116
so unless we find this, this Jed fellow
and g]et a full confession2,
1117
you're on a bit of a sticky wicket.
1118
Well, how sticky?
1119
Something] like 1 5 to 20 years.
1120
- [whispers] 1 5 years?
- Or maybe ten if we're lucky.
1121
Ten years!
1122
In here?
1123
[Bridget] Very black.
1124
All my life I've had the feeling
something terrible was about to happen.
1125
Now it has.
1126
Bijjit, rig]ht?
1127
Bridg]et, actually.
1128
My name Phrao.
1129
You're my friend?
1130
- Steady on!
- Superbra!
1131
You lend me. One day, two cig]arette.
1132
Oh. [laug]hs]
1133
Well, I'll think about it.
1134
Actually, I was thinking] of g]iving] up,
1135
but that was before I was arrested
and thrown into a Thai prison
1136
for ten to 1 5 years. [laug]hs]
1137
Circumstances chang]e.
1138
No, it really, really is "touched".
1139
"Like a vir-g]in,
touched for the very first time".
1140
- No, you wrong].
- No.
1141
Like a wersion
1142
- Vir-g]in.
- Fucked for the very first time
1143
- Touched.
- Like a wersion
1144
[Bridget] Ten years of this?!
1145
Stop! Enoug]h. Enoug]h.
1146
If you're g]oing] to do it,
you really oug]ht to do it properly.
1147
After all, Madonna is nothing]
if not a perfectionist.
1148
Five, six, seven, eig]ht and one...
1149
Like a virgin
1150
Touched for the very first time