251
There's nobody around. No human person
is in evidence. What do you do?

252
A: You keep the money.

253
B: You use it to buy gifts
for your friends and your loved ones.

254
C: You give it to the poor.

255
D: You turn it in to the police.

256
- Dad, this is really stupid.
- Kim...!

257
- I'd keep the money.
- Simmer down.

258
Edward?

259
Hey, how about after dinner we go down
to the bowling¹ alley²? That'd be fun.

260
You're not seeing Jim tonight?

261
No.

262
We had the coolest show and tell today.

263
This kid brought in a box of baby possums.
Ten, maybe twelve. Totally naked.

264
- No hair at all.
- Honey, your father isn't finished yet.

265
Thank you, dear. Edward, we're waiting.

266
Give it to my loved ones?

267
Oh, Edward, it does seem that
that's what you should do, but it's not.

268
You dope, everybody knows
you're supposed to give it to the police.

269
Good thinking, Kevin.

270
Well, think about it, you guys.

271
I mean, that's the nicer thing to do.
That's what I would do.

272
We're not trying to confuse him, we're trying
to make things easier, so cut the comedy.

273
I am being serious, Dad.
It's a much nicer thing to do.

274
Forget nice. We're talking right and wrong.

275
Shut up!

276
Oh, goodness! No wonder poor Edward can't
learn right from wrong, living in this family!

277
Well, did you hear
what he did to Peg³'s curtains?

278
It's unbelievable they're having
their party anyway. Are you going?

279
I don't think so.

280
He practically raped⁴ Joyce,
threatening her with those knives.

281
It's a miracle she escaped.

282
I have nothing against Bill and Peg, but...

283
I know. They've got that
teenage daughter in the house.

284
Those poor things!
After what happened to me...

285
Can you imagine?

286
What did you say about the Christmas party?

287
I said I hoped we could make it.

288
I lied too.

289
Edward? Do you want to
give me that new haircut?

290
- Again?
- Yeah, sure!

291
It makes me proud to have you
as my own personal hairdresser.

292
Hi, honey.

293
- Kevin, want to play scissors, paper, stone?
- No.

294
- Why?
- It's boring. I'm tired of always winning.

295
- People's feelings, please. A few manners!
- I'll be outside.

296
Never you mind, dear. Just... cut away.

297
" I saw three ships come sailing by

298
" On Christmas day, on Christmas day

299
" I saw three ships come sailing by

300
" On Christmas day in the morning

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