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Rules of Life 生命中必修的人生法则
◎ Lillian Bueno Mccue
What do I believe? What laws do I live by? There are so many answers—work, beauty, truth,
love—and I hope I do live by them.
But in everyday things I live by the light of a supplementary1 set of laws. I’d better call them
rules of thumb. Rules of thumb aren’t very grand, but they do make the wheels go round.
My father and mother sent me to good schools, but the finest thing they did for my education
was to have seven children. I was the oldest, and my brothers and sisters were my best teachers.
I learned first to pull my own weight in the boat. Kids making a bob-sled have no use for the
loafer who wants a free ride. Neither has the world. I learned to make the bed I slept in, and wash the
glass I used, and mend what I broke, and mop up where I spilled. And if I was too lazy or too dainty
or too busy, and left it for someone else, somebody else soon taught me different.
Then, the same way, I learned that anger is a waste. It hurts nobody but me. A fit of the sullens
got short shrift in our house. It wasn’t pulling my weight in the boat. It was spoiling sport. And
among seven children it got me nowhere. It might reduce four o’cat to three o’cat, but the game went
on just the same, and where was I? Out of it. Better go in and join the group around the piano and
and stay in the game.
Here’s a rule thumb that’s important, and the older I get, the more important I think it is. When I
can do something, and somebody wants me to do it, I have to do it. The great tragedy of life is not to
be needed. As long as you are able and willing to do things for people, you will be needed. Of course
you are able; and if so, you can’t say no. My mother is seventy-seven. In seventy-seven years she has
that her presence is eagerly contended for. When I want to see her I have to pretend emergency.
Then there’s the rule of curiosity. Your body would die if you stopped feeling hunger and thirst,
and your mind will die if you lose your curiosity. This I learned from my father. My father was a
naturalist4. He could see the beetle5 under the bark, and draw it forth6 unharmed for us to squint7 at
through the magnifying glass. He sampled the taste of thirty-three different caterpillars8. Fired by his
example, once, my sister ate an ant. In case you are wondering, caterpillars taste like the green leaves
they eat, and ants taste of lemon. I personally haven’t tasted any entomological specimens9 lately, but
I am still rejoicing in the limitless curiosity, the draws me to books and people and places. I hope I
never lose it. It would be like pulling down the blind.
Finally, there is the rule of happiness. Happiness is a habit. I was taught to cultivate it. A big
stomachache, or a big heartache, can interrupt happiness, but neither can destroy it unless I permit.
My mother simply wouldn’t have unhappy faces moping about the place. If it was stomachache, she
does it. If it was heartache, she administered love and understanding and lots of interesting things to
do, and soon the sun came out again. Even the heartbreaks that can’t really be mended, even those
seem to yield to the habit of finding happiness in doing things, in love and in the memory of love. I
hope I never lose that habit either. It would be like putting out the light.
So I learned to live, by the great laws, and these little rules of thumb. I wouldn’t take a million
dollars for any one of them, or a million times that for the years at home that taught them to me.
我该相信什么？我遵循什么原则？答案是多样的，比如工作、美好、真谛、爱意，我也
真诚希望我确实是遵循了这些而活。
但生活中的琐事，让我有另外一个原则去遵从。我称之为拇指规则（虽然它听起来并不
响亮，但却很实用）。
我父母把我送到一所好的学校读书，但是对我最好的教育却是他们养育了7个孩子。我是
年龄最大的，弟弟妹妹们是我最好的老师。
我首先学会了作为长女的责任。对一个想搭顺风车的浪子来说，会做雪橇的孩子毫无用
处。我学会整理被子，洗自己用过的杯子，修补自己弄坏的东西，擦拭我泼洒弄脏的地方。
如果我太懒，太忙或太讲究，而让别人去做，马上就会有人叫我别这么做。
所以同样地，我发现愤怒简直于事无补。它只会伤到我自己。在我们家里，闷闷不乐是
不会有人搭理你的。尽管那不是我的责任，但却会让人很扫兴。更何况在7个孩子里，生闷气
对我没好处。没有我，“4只小猫”的游戏变成“3只小猫”，一样可以玩得很好。而我在哪呢？
我被排除在外。最好的办法是，加入他们，围在钢琴边，然后忘记我的委屈。但要记得，下
次不要生气地扔掉我的球拍。我控制自己，继续游戏。
拇指原则中有一条很重要，我年岁越大，越发现它的重要性。当某人需要我做某事，而
我也有能力去完成时，我就不得不去做。生活的悲剧就是你不被需要。只要你可以并且愿意
为别人做某事，你就会被需要。当然是你力所能及的，否则你不能拒绝。我母亲今年77岁，
在她77年的生活中，从没有拒绝帮助别人。现在13个孙子孙女和无数的邻居都热切地需要她
的帮助，所以连和她见面都很难。当我想见她时，只能假装是有急事。
还有好奇心的原则。如果你感觉不到饥饿和口渴，你的身体会死；如果你失去了好奇
心，你的脑袋会死。这是我在父亲那里学到的。他是个自然学家，可以观察到树皮下的甲
虫，然后毫发无伤地拿起它，让我们用放大镜研究。父亲尝了33种不同毛虫标本的味道，以
这个为榜样，有一次我的妹妹吃了蚂蚁。为了消除你们的好奇心，毛虫的味道就像它们吃的
绿叶，蚂蚁的味道比较偏向柠檬。我个人还没有尝试过任何昆虫标本的味道，但我还是拥有
无止境的好奇，然后我会去翻书，和人们交流，去满足我无限的好奇心。真希望我永远不要
丧失好奇心，否则就会像牵引一个盲人一样无趣。
最后就是幸福原则。幸福是一种习惯，我要学会培养这个习惯。胃疼心脏疼会影响我，
但绝不会摧毁我的幸福，除非我自己乐意。我母亲不会轻易摆出一副郁闷的面孔。如果胃
疼，她会给他吃药；如果是心疼，她会用爱和理解，还有其他有趣的方法来处理，而且不久
他就会重新快乐起来。即使是那些再也无法修补的破碎的心，也会屈服在爱中，在爱的记忆
中找寻快乐。我同样不希望丢弃爱，否则就像自己关掉了整个世界的灯。
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