日期:2014-09-10 Sam was near the end of his long life. His children stood by the bed, and they were waiting to hear his last words. Finally, he said, My children, your mother and I have been married for more than 50 years-and she can cook wonderfully. Even now I sm... 阅读全文>>

日期:2014-08-25 Joe Schmidt, although very wealthy, was a tightwad. One day he and his wife wanted to take a spin in an airplane over the city of New York. The pilot said it would be 10 dollars a piece for a thirty-minute flight. How about 10 dollars for both of us... 阅读全文>>

日期:2014-08-25 An Irishman, a Mexican and a blonde guy were doing construction work on the 30th floor of a building. The Irishman opened his lunch box and said, Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off... 阅读全文>>

日期:2014-08-25 One day a man came home from work to find total chaos in the house. The kids were laying outside in the mud, still in their pajamas. When he opened the door, he found an even bigger mess: dishes on the counter, dog food spilled on the floor, a broke... 阅读全文>>

日期:2014-08-25 An 80-year-old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them. After checking the couple out, the doctor told them they were physically okay but might... 阅读全文>>

日期:2014-08-25 A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. I can hardly believe my eyes! he exclaimed. That's the smartest dog I've ever seen. Nah, he's not so smart, the frie... 阅读全文>>

日期:2014-08-21 There was a little old lady who was nearly blind, and she had three sons who wanted to prove which one was the best to her. Son 1 bought her a 15-room mansion, thinking this would surely be the best that any of them could offer her. Son 2 bought her... 阅读全文>>

日期:2014-08-21 When my brother, a notorious spender, came home for a visit, he told my father he was going to get married and settle down. Dad said, Why don't you stay single and settle up. 我的哥哥是个有名的挥霍者。他回家来时,告诉父亲说他要结婚了,要安定下来。父... 阅读全文>>

日期:2014-08-19 A man accidentally slipped on a banana peel(香蕉皮) and performed a very funny fall. He was not hurt, but had his dignity somewhat ruffled. When he got better a moment later, he found a number of people standing round in a circle. He said angrily,... 阅读全文>>

日期:2014-08-19 Woodrow Wilson disapproved very strongly of indiscriminate(无差别的) giving of honorary degrees when he was president of Princeton University. He said, Our universities have learned recently to give honorary degrees carefully. But in the past it w... 阅读全文>>

日期:2014-08-13 A foreigner applied for citizenship paper in New York. The judge asked him, Do you want to be made a citizen of the United States? The foreigner replied, Yes, Mr. Judge. Then the judge said, I must examine you, do you know how many states are in the... 阅读全文>>

日期:2014-08-13 A housewife didn't know how to estimate the cost of living, so she asked her husband about it。 Her husband said, It's very simple. Take our income and add 30 per cent. 有个家庭主妇不知道怎样估算他们的生活费用,就去问她的丈夫。 她的丈夫说:很简单。... 阅读全文>>

日期:2014-08-13 An old man visited a doctor to consult as to what he should do,. The doctor gave him some instructions. The old man shook his head and started to leave the office. The doctor said: Sir, you forget to pay me. Pay you for what? said the old man. The d... 阅读全文>>

日期:2014-08-13 A traveler came to a small Middle Western town. He decided to stay for a few days. When he was about to write his name on the hotel register, he saw a bedbug crawling across the page. It is really unbearable, he said, flinging down the pen. I've bee... 阅读全文>>

日期:2014-08-05 A man has a long history of stealing cars. When he did it again, he was caught by the police. The prosecutor asked him, Now tell the court how you came to take that car. To defend himself, the man said, The car was parked by a cemetery. I thought th... 阅读全文>>

日期:2014-08-05 A college student was taking a pre-Christmas examination. As he couldn't answer some questions, he complained and wrote the complaint on the examination paper as a message. It read: God only knows the answers to these questions, Merry Christmas. Whe... 阅读全文>>

日期:2014-08-05 A woman was hit by a man in a junction(交叉点) . The man said she was to blame. The woman protested that it wasn't her fault. But a witness said, You certainly were to blame. The woman said disapprovingly, It was this man who hit me. Why do you sa... 阅读全文>>

日期:2014-08-05 A bright boy left his family, going to new York to seek his fortune. None of his family seemed to doubt that he would gain success and wealth. Several months passed without a word from him. One cold winter afternoon his father received a note from h... 阅读全文>>

日期:2014-08-05 Once a traveler wanted to visit Springfield by train. He went up to a ticket window and said to the conductor, I want a ticket for Springfield. Which Springfield? asked the conductor, Springfield, Massachusetts; Springfield, Ohio; Springfield, Misso... 阅读全文>>

日期:2014-08-05 An old couple were very saving. As a result they had a beautifully furnished house. One day the old woman missed her husband. She called out: Old man, where are you? I'm in the parlor for a nap, replied the old man. the old woman was horrified to he... 阅读全文>>

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