日期：2014-06-16 One day, a professor asked his students: If you have only three days to live in this world, what will you do? Student A: I want to stay with my girl friend. Student B: I want to go back to see my parents. Student C: I will try my best to eat some de... 阅读全文>>

日期：2014-06-16 On the first day of an American history class, the professor assigned five chapters on civil rights. The next day, he asked one of my classmates to name ten of those rights. When the student made no response, the professor said, All right. Name five... 阅读全文>>

日期：2014-06-16 An American visiting Scotland met a shepherd with a beautiful sheep dog. The American offered the owner $50 for the dog ,but the shepherd refused. I couldn't part with Jack, he said. Just then, a man with an English accent walked up and made the sam... 阅读全文>>

日期：2014-06-12 A businessman enters a tavern（酒馆，客栈） , sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, and then orders the bartender（酒保） to prepare another double martini. Aft... 阅读全文>>

日期：2014-06-12 Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc. Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, That is really nice, that after... 阅读全文>>

日期：2014-06-12 During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director, What is the criterion（标准） that defines a patient to be institutionalized? Well... said the director, we fill up a bathtub, and we offer a teaspoon（茶匙） , a teacup, and a bucke... 阅读全文>>

日期：2014-06-12 A friend of mine was giving an English lesson to a class of adult who had recently come to live in the United States. After placing quite a number of everyday objects on a table, he asked various members of the class to give him the ruler, the book,... 阅读全文>>

日期：2014-06-04 Two friends were having lunch at a caf in new York's Grand Central Terminal. They noticed a man sitting alone at an adjoining table. When the waitress approached him, they overheard her ask, Are you waiting to be joined by a tall, thin woman with lo... 阅读全文>>

日期：2014-05-29 A middle-aged couple went to the gallery. The wife who was nearsighted, stood in front of a mirror at the entrance, which she thought that it was a picture, and she saw a woman's image and cried out, Dear me, how could a woman be so ugly? Don't be s... 阅读全文>>

日期：2014-05-20 A man was reading a newspaper at a table, when his wife suddenly came to him and hit him on the back. The man was very surprised and asked: Why do you hit me? The wife answered: Who is Mary mentioned in the letter in your pocket? The man said: It wa... 阅读全文>>

日期：2014-05-19 When I was waitting in line at the bank , I noticed a woman holding a small child at one of the windows. The boy was eating a roll, which he thrust at the teller. The teller smiled and shook his head. No, no, dear, said the boy's mom, and then, turn... 阅读全文>>

日期：2014-05-19 The school girl was sitting with her feet streched far out into the aisle, and was busily chewing gum, when the teacher espied her. Mary! called the teacher sharply. Yes, Madam? questioned the pupil, Take that gum out of your mouth and put your feet... 阅读全文>>

日期：2014-05-19 Looking very unhappy, a poor man entered a doctor's consulting-room. Doctor, he said, you must help me. I swallowed a penny about a month ago. Good heavens, man! said the doctor. Why have you waited so long? Why don't you come to me on the day you s... 阅读全文>>

日期：2014-05-09 A rich man and his wife went into a shop to buy a bracelet. Neither of them was very young. They looked at a lot of beautiful bracelets, and after half an hour there were two which they looked like very much, but they had not yet been able to choose... 阅读全文>>

日期：2014-05-09 In order to prevent myself from being burnt by the hot sun in summer, I talked again and again with my husband that we should buy a car of our own. In the evening. I tried to persuade my husband and said: Everyday I have to go to work by bike in the... 阅读全文>>

日期：2014-05-07 Workman: Mr. Brown, I should like to ask for a smallrise in my wages. I have just been married. Employer: Very sorry, my dear man, but I can't help you. For accidents which happen to our workmen outside the factory we are not responsible. 工人：布朗... 阅读全文>>

日期：2014-05-07 Two tomatoes went shopping. The first tomato walked fast. The second one asked, Where are we going? The first tomato has no answer, the second tomato asked again. The tomato has no answer, so the second tomato asked again. The first tomato finally t... 阅读全文>>

日期：2014-05-07 A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: God, what is a million dollars to you? God says: A penny, then the man says: God, what is a million years to you? and God says: a second, then the man says: God, can I have a penny? and God sa... 阅读全文>>

日期：2014-05-07 A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimetres from a shop window. The driver said, Look mate, don't ever do... 阅读全文>>

日期：2014-05-07 A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said, I'm here because my house burned down, and the insurance company paid for everything. That's quite a coincidence, said the engineer. I'm here because my house were destroyed by... 阅读全文>>