不敢说“不”是缺乏主张的典型特征。那么，应该如何说“不”呢？

2: It is difficult for me to say no and I often end up taking on tasks that I don’t want.

对我来说，说“不”是一件困难的事。往往最终我挑起的是不想做的任务

Addresses saying no.

如何说“不”

A classic sign of a lack of assertiveness¹ is the inability to say no. When you are unable to say no, you lose credibility. You communicate that your time is not valuable and therefore that your contributions are less valuable. When on the other hand you show that you know what you do best and what your limitations are, you exude² confidence. This doesn’t mean that you should say no to everything except those few things you really want to do. It means that you should prioritize and gain practice stating why you are not the person for select jobs. 缺乏主张力的典型特征是不能说“不”。 当你做不到说“不”，你就失去了可信度。你在表示自己的时间不是宝贵的，也因此你的贡献也不那么宝贵。而在相反情况的情况下，你表示出知道自己最擅长什么，不擅长什么。你散发出的是自信。 这并不意味着除了真正想做的事情之外，你对其它所有事情都要说不。这意味着你应当把事情做个优先化处理，并在拒绝指定工作上积累经验。

When you say no, don’t apologize or over-explain why you are saying no. Take responsibility by using “I’ statements to show where your strengths are best suited. State your reasons clearly and assertively³ make your request. 在你说“不”的时候，不需要对为什么拒绝道歉或做过多的解释。使用“我”的句子来陈述你的长处，这样也就解释了为什么对那些工作说“不”。表明你的理由，果断地提出请求。（to be continued）