38.        The speaker claims that simple courtesy and good manners are disappearing from
modern life, and that the quality of our lives is therefore deteriorating¹. While I do
encounter frequent instances of discourtesy and bad manners, I also encounter many
instances of the opposite behavior. For this reason, and because negative experiences
tend to be more memorable² and newsworthy, I find the speaker's claim to be dubious³.
      Most people encounter multiple instances of ordinary courtesy and good manners
every day—simple acts such as smokers⁴ asking whether anyone minds if they light up,
people letting others with fewer items ahead in grocery-store lines, and freeway drivers
switching lanes to accommodate faster drivers or those entering via on-ramps.
Admittedly, most people also encounter discourtesy or poor manners on a daily basis—
people using obscene language in public places where young children are present, and
business associates intentionally⁵ ignoring phone calls, to name a few. However, such
acts do not prove that good manners and courtesy are disappearing; they simply show
that both courtesy and discourtesy abound⁶ in everyday life. Thus the claim that courtesy
and good manners are disappearing grossly distorts reality.
      Another -reason that the claim is suspect is that we tend to remember negative
encounters with people more so than positive ones, probably because bad experiences
tend to be more traumatic and sensational⁷, if not more interesting to talk about. The
news stories that the media chooses to focus on certainly support this rationale.
However the fact that we remember, hear about, and read about discourtesy more than
about courtesy shows neither that discourtesy is increasing nor that courtesy is
decreasing. It simply shows that negative experiences leave "stranger impressions and
tend to be more sensational. In fact, I suspect that if one were to tally⁸ up one's daily
encounters with both types of behavior, one would conclude that good manners and
courtesy are far more prevalent than the opposite behavior.
      In conclusion, the speaker's claim that common courtesy and good manners are
disappearing is not born out by everyday experience. I suspect the speaker has failed to
consider that negative experiences leave stronger impressions on our memory and are
more interesting to relate to others than positive ones.

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