Two women friends had gone for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly
over-enthusiastic on the cocktails¹.

Incredibly drunk and walking home, they needed to pee.

They were very near a graveyard² and one of them suggested they do their business behind a head stone or something.

The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she thought she'd take off her
panties, use them, then throw them away.

Her friend, however, was wearing
a rather expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers but was
lucky to salvage³ a large ribbon from a wreath that was on one of the graves and proceeded to wipe herself with that.

After finishing, they then made off for home.

The next day the first woman's husband phoned the other husband and said, "These damn girls night out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties."

"That's nothing, said the other husband, "Mine came back with a card stuck between the cheeks of her
ass⁴ that said, "From All of Us At the Fire Station, We'll Never Forget
You."