Attorney Season_司法笑话

Attorney Season

文章来源：文章作者：发布时间：2008-02-28 07:39 字体： [大中小]　进入论坛

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WASHINGTON STATE ATTORNEY SEASON AND BAG LIMITS

1. Any person with a valid¹ Washington State hunting license² may harvest attorneys.
2. Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited.
3. Killing³ of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash.
4. It is unlawful to chase, herd⁴, or harvest attorneys from a snow machine, helicopter, or aircraft.
5. It shall be unlawful to shout 'whiplash', 'ambulance', or 'free Perrier' for the purpose of trapping attorneys.
6. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW dealerships.
7. It shall be unlawful to use cocaine⁶, young boys, $100 bills, prostitutes, or vehicle accidents to attract attorneys.
8. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, brothels, health spas, gay bars, ambulances, or hospitals.
9. If an attorney is elected to government office, it shall be a felony to hunt, trap, or possess it.
10. Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health department inspection⁷ for rabies, and vermin.
11. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as a reporter, drug dealer⁵, pimp, female legal clerk, sheep, accident victim, bookie, or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.

BAG LIMITS

1. Yellow Bellied⁸ Sidewinder - 2
2. Two-faced Tort Feasor - 1
3. Back-stabbing Divorce Litigator - 4
4. Small-breasted Ball Buster (Female only) - 3
5. Big-mouthed Pub Gut⁹ - 2
6. Honest Attorney - EXTINCT
7. Cutthroat - 2
8. Back-stabbing Whiner¹⁰ - 2
9. Brown-nosed Judge Kisser - 2
10.Silver-tongued Drug Defender - $100 BOUNTY

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收听单词发音

1 valid
adj.有确实根据的；有效的；正当的，合法的
参考例句：
His claim to own the house is valid.他主张对此屋的所有权有效。 Do you have valid reasons for your absence?你的缺席有正当理由吗？

2 license
n.执照，许可证，特许；v.许可，特许
参考例句：
The foreign guest has a license on the person.这个外国客人随身携带执照。 The driver was arrested for having false license plates on his car.司机由于使用假车牌而被捕。

3 killing
n.巨额利润；突然赚大钱，发大财
参考例句：
Investors are set to make a killing from the sell-off.投资者准备清仓以便大赚一笔。 Last week my brother made a killing on Wall Street.上个周我兄弟在华尔街赚了一大笔。

4 herd
n.兽群，牧群；vt.使集中，把…赶在一起
参考例句：
She drove the herd of cattle through the wilderness.她赶着牛群穿过荒野。 He had no opinions of his own but simply follow the herd.他从无主见，只是人云亦云。

5 dealer
n.商人，贩子
参考例句：
The dealer spent hours bargaining for the painting.那个商人为购买那幅画花了几个小时讨价还价。 The dealer reduced the price for cash down.这家商店对付现金的人减价优惠。

6 cocaine
n.可卡因，古柯碱（用作局部麻醉剂）
参考例句：
That young man is a cocaine addict.那个年轻人吸食可卡因成瘾。 Don't have cocaine abusively.不可滥服古柯碱。

7 inspection
n.检查，审查，检阅
参考例句：
On random inspection the meat was found to be bad.经抽查，发现肉变质了。 The soldiers lined up for their daily inspection by their officers.士兵们列队接受军官的日常检阅。

8 bellied
adj.有腹的，大肚子的
参考例句：
That big-bellied fellow was very cruel and greedy. 那个大腹便便的家伙既贪婪又残恶。来自《现代汉英综合大词典》 The ship's sails bellied in the wind. 船帆在风中鼓得大大的。来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

9 gut
n.[pl.]胆量；内脏；adj.本能的；vt.取出内脏
参考例句：
It is not always necessary to gut the fish prior to freezing.冷冻鱼之前并不总是需要先把内脏掏空。 My immediate gut feeling was to refuse.我本能的直接反应是拒绝。

10 whiner
n.哀鸣者，啜泣者，悲嗥者，哀诉者
参考例句：
He was a whiner, always complaining of the costs in his Family business. 他整天嘀嘀咕咕，老是埋怨自己的家族企业开销太大了。来自教父部分 And finally, make sure your boss sees you as a winner and not a whiner. 最后，确定你的老板认为你是一个成功者，而不是一名哀诉者。来自互联网

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