You know you work in Corporate¹ America if ...

1) You've sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies.

2) Your resume is on a disk in your pocket.

3) When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie.

4) You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.

5) You learn about your layoff² on CNN.

6) Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes.

7) Your supervisor³ doesn't have the ability to do your job.

8) You sit in a cubicle⁴ smaller than your bedroom closet.

9) Salaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than all the Third World
countries' annual budgets combined.

10) It's dark when you drive to and from work.

11) Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else.

12) "Communication" is something your group is having problems with.

13) You see a good looking person and know it is a visitor.

14) Free food left over from meetings is your main staple⁵ diet.

15) Weekends are those days your spouse⁶ makes you stay home.

16) Being sick is defined as can't walk or you're in the hospital.

17) You're already late on the assignment you just got.

18) Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube.

19) Your boss' favorite lines are "When you get a few minutes", "In your spare time", "When you're freed up", and "I have an opportunity for you."

20) Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with computers".