Early Retirement_成人笑话

Early Retirement

文章来源：文章作者：发布时间：2007-07-13 03:10 字体： [大中小]　进入论坛

(单词翻译:双击或拖选)

To:All Staff
Cc:
From:Management
RE:Early Retirement¹

Due to our current financial situation, management has decided² to implement³ a scheme to put all workers over 30 on early retirement. This scheme will be know as RAPE⁴ (Retire Aged⁵ Personnel Early).

Person selected to be RAPED⁶ can apply to the management to be eligible⁷ for the SHAFT⁸ (Special Help AFTer retirement). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED⁹ will be reviewed under the SCREW scheme (SCheme for Retired¹⁰ Early Workers). A person may be RAPED only once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as management deems appropriate.

Persons who have been raped can apply to get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants¹¹ or Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings¹² for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SCREWED any further by management.

Persons staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity¹³ Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself for the amount of SHIT it gives its staff. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT please bring it to the attention of your manager. He has been trained to give all the SHIT you can handle.

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收听单词发音

1 retirement
n.退休，退职
参考例句：
She wanted to enjoy her retirement without being beset by financial worries.她想享受退休生活而不必为金钱担忧。 I have to put everything away for my retirement.我必须把一切都积蓄起来以便退休后用。

2 decided
adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的
参考例句：
This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。 There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。

3 implement
n.(pl.)工具，器具；vt.实行，实施，执行
参考例句：
Don't undertake a project unless you can implement it.不要承担一项计划，除非你能完成这项计划。 The best implement for digging a garden is a spade.在花园里挖土的最好工具是铁锹。

4 rape
n.抢夺，掠夺，强奸；vt.掠夺，抢夺，强奸
参考例句：
The rape of the countryside had a profound ravage on them.对乡村的掠夺给他们造成严重创伤。 He was brought to court and charged with rape.他被带到法庭并被指控犯有强奸罪。

5 aged
adj.年老的，陈年的
参考例句：
He had put on weight and aged a little.他胖了，也老点了。 He is aged,but his memory is still good.他已年老，然而记忆力还好。

6 raped
v.以暴力夺取，强夺( rape的过去式和过去分词 )；强奸
参考例句：
A young woman was brutally raped in her own home. 一名年轻女子在自己家中惨遭强暴。来自辞典例句 We got stick together, or we will be having our women raped. 我们得团结一致，不然我们的妻女就会遭到蹂躏。来自辞典例句

7 eligible
adj.有条件被选中的；(尤指婚姻等)合适(意)的
参考例句：
He is an eligible young man.他是一个合格的年轻人。 Helen married an eligible bachelor.海伦嫁给了一个中意的单身汉。

8 shaft
n.(工具的)柄，杆状物
参考例句：
He was wounded by a shaft.他被箭击中受伤。 This is the shaft of a steam engine.这是一个蒸汽机主轴。

9 shafted
有箭杆的，有柄的，有羽轴的
参考例句：
I got shafted in that deal. 我在那次交易中受骗。来自互联网 I was shafted into paying too much. 我被骗得多花了钱。来自互联网

10 retired
adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的
参考例句：
The old man retired to the country for rest.这位老人下乡休息去了。 Many retired people take up gardening as a hobby.许多退休的人都以从事园艺为嗜好。

11 dependants
受赡养者，受扶养的家属( dependant的名词复数 )
参考例句：
The government has agreed to take only 150 refugees plus their dependants. 政府承诺只收留150 名难民及家属。 There are approximately 12 million migrants with their dependants living in the EU countries. 大约有1200万流动工人带着家属居住在欧盟诸国。

12 earnings
n.工资收人；利润，利益，所得
参考例句：
That old man lives on the earnings of his daughter.那个老人靠他女儿的收入维持生活。 Last year there was a 20% decrease in his earnings.去年他的收入减少了20%。

13 intensity
n.强烈，剧烈；强度；烈度
参考例句：
I didn't realize the intensity of people's feelings on this issue.我没有意识到这一问题能引起群情激奋。 The strike is growing in intensity.罢工日益加剧。

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