An American tourist in London decides to skip his tour group and explore the city on his own. He wanders around, seeing the sights, occasionally stopping at a quaint¹ pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the locals, and have a pint² of bitter.

 

After a while, he finds himself in a very nice neighborhood with big, stately residences...no pubs, no stores, no restaurants, and worst of all NO PUBLIC RESTROOMS.

 

He really, really has to go, after all those Guinnesses. He finds a narrow side street, with high walls surrounding the adjacent buildings and decides to use the wall to solve his problem.

 

As he is unzipping, he is tapped on the shoulder by a London police officer, who says, "I say, sir, you simply cannot do that here, you know."

 

"I'm very sorry, officer," replies the American, "but I really, really have to go, and I just can't find a public restroom."

 

"Ah, yes," said the policeman..."Just follow me". He leads the American to a back delivery alley³ to a gate, which he opens.

 

"In there," points the policeman. "Go ahead sir, anywhere you like."

 

The fellow enters and finds himself in the most beautiful garden he has ever seen. Manicured grass lawns, statuary, fountains, sculptured hedges, and huge beds of gorgeous flowers, all in perfect bloom.

 

Since he has the policeman's blessing⁴, he relieves himself and feels much more comfortable. As he goes back through the gate, he says to the police officer, "That was really decent of you... is that what you call English hospitality?"

 

"No sir...", replied the police officer, "...that is what we call the French Embassy."

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