Advice from a Caterpillar¹

The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in silence: at last the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth, and addressed her in a languid, sleepy voice.

`Who are YOU?' said the Caterpillar.

This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alicereplied, rather shyly, `I--I hardly know, sir, just at present-- at least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.'

`What do you mean by that?' said the Caterpillar sternly. `Explain yourself!'

`I can't explain MYSELF, I'm afraid, sir' said Alice, `because I'm not myself, you see.'

`I don't see,' said the Caterpillar.

`I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly,' Alice replied very politely, `for I can't understand it myself to begin with; and being so many different sizes in a day is very confusing.'

`It isn't,' said the Caterpillar.

`Well, perhaps you haven't found it so yet,' said Alice; `but when you have to turn into a chrysalis--you will some day, you know--and then after that into a butterfly, I should think you'll feel it a little queer, won't you?'

`Not a bit,' said the Caterpillar.

`Well, perhaps your feelings may be different,' said Alice; `all I know is, it would feel very queer to ME.'

`You!' said the Caterpillar contemptuously. `Who are YOU?'

Which brought them back again to the beginning of the conversation. Alice felt a little irritated at the Caterpillar's making such VERY short remarks, and she drew herself up and said, very gravely, `I think, you ought to tell me who YOU are, first.'

`Why?' said the Caterpillar.

Here was another puzzling question; and as Alice could not think of any good reason, and as the Caterpillar seemed to be in a VERY unpleasant state of mind, she turned away.

`Come back!' the Caterpillar called after her. `I've something important to say!'

This sounded promising³, certainly: Alice turned and came back again.

`Keep your temper,' said the Caterpillar.

`Is that all?' said Alice, swallowing down her anger as well as she could.

`No,' said the Caterpillar.

Alice thought she might as well wait, as she had nothing else to do, and perhaps after all it might tell her something worth hearing. For some minutes it puffed⁴ away without speaking, but at last it unfolded its arms, took the hookah out of its mouth again, and said, `So you think you're changed, do you?'

`I'm afraid I am, sir,' said Alice; `I can't remember things as I used--and I don't keep the same size for ten minutes together!'

`Can't remember WHAT things?' said the Caterpillar.

`Well, I've tried to say "HOW DOTH THE LITTLE BUSY BEE," but it all came different!' Alice replied in a very melancholy⁵ voice.

`Repeat, "YOU ARE OLD, FATHER WILLIAM,"' said the Caterpillar.

Alice folded her hands, and began:--

`You are old, Father William,' the young man said, `And your hair has become very white; And yet you incessantly⁶ stand on your head-- Do you think, at your age, it is right?'

`In my youth,' Father William replied to his son, `I feared it might injure the brain; But, now that I'm perfectly⁷ sure I have none, Why, I do it again and again.'

`You are old,' said the youth, `as I mentioned before, And have grown most uncommonly⁸ fat; Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door-- Pray, what is the reason of that?'

`In my youth,' said the sage<sup>9</sup>, as he shook his grey locks, `I kept all my limbs very supple¹⁰ By the use of this ointment--one shilling the box-- Allow me to sell you a couple?'

`You are old,' said the youth, `and your jaws¹² are too weak For anything tougher than suet; Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak-- Pray how did you manage to do it?'

`In my youth,' said his father, `I took to the law, And argued each case with my wife; And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw¹¹, Has lasted the rest of my life.'

`You are old,' said the youth, `one would hardly suppose That your eye was as steady as ever; Yet you balanced an eel² on the end of your nose-- What made you so awfully¹³ clever?'

`I have answered three questions, and that is enough,' Said his father; `don't give yourself airs! Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff? Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!'

`That is not said right,' said the Caterpillar.

`Not QUITE right, I'm afraid,' said Alice, timidly; `some of the words have got altered.'

`It is wrong from beginning to end,' said the Caterpillar decidedly, and there was silence for some minutes.

The Caterpillar was the first to speak.

`What size do you want to be?' it asked.

`Oh, I'm not particular as to size,' Alice hastily replied; `only one doesn't like changing so often, you know.'

`I DON'T know,' said the Caterpillar.

Alice said nothing: she had never been so much contradicted in her life before, and she felt that she was losing her temper.

`Are you content now?' said the Caterpillar.

`Well, I should like to be a LITTLE larger, sir, if you wouldn't mind,' said Alice: `three inches is such a wretched height to be.'

`It is a very good height indeed!' said the Caterpillar angrily, rearing itself upright as it spoke¹⁴ (it was exactly three inches high).

`But I'm not used to it!' pleaded poor Alice in a piteous tone. And she thought of herself, `I wish the creatures wouldn't be so easily offended!'

`You'll get used to it in time,' said the Caterpillar; and it put the hookah into its mouth and began smoking again.

This time Alice waited patiently until it chose to speak again. In a minute or two the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth and yawned once or twice, and shook itself. Then it got down off the mushroom, and crawled away in the grass, merely remarking as it went, `One side will make you grow taller, and the other side will make you grow shorter.'

`One side of WHAT? The other side of WHAT?' thought Alice to herself.

`Of the mushroom,' said the Caterpillar, just as if she had asked it aloud; and in another moment it was out of sight.

Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the mushroom for a minute, trying to make out which were the two sides of it; and as it was perfectly round, she found this a very difficult question. However, at last she stretched her arms round it as far as they would go, and broke off a bit of the edge with each hand.

`And now which is which?' she said to herself, and nibbled¹⁵ a little of the right-hand bit to try the effect: the next moment she felt a violent blow underneath¹⁶ her chin: it had struck her foot!

She was a good deal frightened by this very sudden change, but she felt that there was no time to be lost, as she was shrinking rapidly; so she set to work at once to eat some of the other bit. Her chin was pressed so closely against her foot, that there was hardly room to open her mouth; but she did it at last, and managed to swallow a morsel¹⁷ of the lefthand bit.

`Come, my head's free at last!' said Alice in a tone of delight, which changed into alarm in another moment, when she found that her shoulders were nowhere to be found: all she could see, when she looked down, was an immense length of neck, which seemed to rise like a stalk out of a sea of green leaves that lay far below her.

`What CAN all that green stuff be?' said Alice. `And where HAVE my shoulders got to? And oh, my poor hands, how is it I can't see you?' She was moving them about as she spoke, but no result seemed to follow, except a little shaking among the distant green leaves.

As there seemed to be no chance of getting her hands up to her head, she tried to get her head down to them, and was delighted to find that her neck would bend about easily in any direction, like a serpent. She had just succeeded in curving it down into a graceful¹⁸ zigzag¹⁹, and was going to dive in among the leaves, which she found to be nothing but the tops of the trees under which she had been wandering, when a sharp hiss²⁰ made her draw back in a hurry: a large pigeon had flown into her face, and was beating her violently with its wings.

`Serpent!' screamed the Pigeon.

`I'm NOT a serpent!' said Alice indignantly. `Let me alone!'

`Serpent, I say again!' repeated the Pigeon, but in a more subdued<sup>21</sup> tone, and added with a kind of sob<sup>22</sup>, `I've tried every way, and nothing seems to suit them!'

`I haven't the least idea what you're talking about,' said Alice.

`I've tried the roots of trees, and I've tried banks, and I've tried hedges,' the Pigeon went on, without attending to her; `but those serpents! There's no pleasing them!'

Alice was more and more puzzled, but she thought there was no use in saying anything more till the Pigeon had finished.

`As if it wasn't trouble enough hatching the eggs,' said the Pigeon; `but I must be on the look-out for serpents night and day! Why, I haven't had a wink²³ of sleep these three weeks!'

`I'm very sorry you've been annoyed,' said Alice, who was beginning to see its meaning.

`And just as I'd taken the highest tree in the wood,' continued the Pigeon, raising its voice to a shriek<sup>24</sup>, `and just as I was thinking I should be free of them at last, they must needs come wriggling²⁵ down from the sky! Ugh, Serpent!'

`But I'm NOT a serpent, I tell you!' said Alice. `I'm a--I'm a--'

`Well! WHAT are you?' said the Pigeon. `I can see you're trying to invent something!'

`I--I'm a little girl,' said Alice, rather doubtfully, as she remembered the number of changes she had gone through that day.

`A likely story indeed!' said the Pigeon in a tone of the deepest contempt. `I've seen a good many little girls in my time, but never ONE with such a neck as that! No, no! You're a serpent; and there's no use denying it. I suppose you'll be telling me next that you never tasted an egg!'

`I HAVE tasted eggs, certainly,' said Alice, who was a very truthful<sup>26</sup> child; `but little girls eat eggs quite as much as serpents do, you know.'

`I don't believe it,' said the Pigeon; `but if they do, why then they're a kind of serpent, that's all I can say.'

This was such a new idea to Alice, that she was quite silent for a minute or two, which gave the Pigeon the opportunity of adding, `You're looking for eggs, I know THAT well enough; and what does it matter to me whether you're a little girl or a serpent?'

`It matters a good deal to ME,' said Alice hastily; `but I'm not looking for eggs, as it happens; and if I was, I shouldn't want YOURS: I don't like them raw.'

`Well, be off, then!' said the Pigeon in a sulky tone, as it settled down again into its nest. Alice crouched²⁷ down among the trees as well as she could, for her neck kept getting entangled²⁸ among the branches, and every now and then she had to stop and untwist it. After a while she remembered that she still held the pieces of mushroom in her hands, and she set to work very carefully, nibbling²⁹ first at one and then at the other, and growing sometimes taller and sometimes shorter, until she had succeeded in bringing herself down to her usual height.

It was so long since she had been anything near the right size, that it felt quite strange at first; but she got used to it in a few minutes, and began talking to herself, as usual. `Come, there's half my plan done now! How puzzling all these changes are! I'm never sure what I'm going to be, from one minute to another! However, I've got back to my right size: the next thing is, to get into that beautiful garden--how IS that to be done, I wonder?' As she said this, she came suddenly upon an open place, with a little house in it about four feet high. `Whoever lives there,' thought Alice, `it'll never do to come upon them THIS size: why, I should frighten them out of their wits!' So she began nibbling at the righthand bit again, and did not venture to go near the house till she had brought herself down to nine inches high.

毛毛虫和爱丽丝彼此沉默地注视了好一会。最后，毛毛虫从嘴里拿出了水烟管，用慢吞吞的、瞌睡似的声调同她说起了话。

“你是谁？”毛毛虫问，这可不是鼓励人谈话的开场白，爱丽丝挺不好意思地回答说：“我……眼下很难说，先生……至少今天起床时，我还知道我是谁的，从那时起，可是我就变了好几回了，”
“你这话是什么意思？”毛毛虫严厉地说，“你自己解释一下！”
“我没法解释，先生，”爱丽丝说，“因为我已经不是我自己了，你瞧。”
“我瞧不出。”毛毛虫说。

“我不能解释得更清楚了，”爱丽丝非常有礼貌地回答，“因为我压根儿不懂是怎么开始的，一天里改变好几次大小是非常不舒服的。”
“唉，也许你还没有体会，”爱丽丝说，“可是当你必须变成一只蝶蛹的时候——你知道自己总有一天会这样的——然后再变成一只蝴蝶、我想你会感到有点奇怪的，是不是，”
“一点也不。”毛毛虫说。
“哦！可能你的感觉同我不一样，”爱丽丝说，“可是这些事使我觉得非常奇怪。”
“你！”毛毛虫轻蔑地说，“你是谁？”

这句话又把他们带回了谈话的开头，对于毛毛虫的那些非常简短的回答，爱丽丝颇有点不高兴了，她挺直了身子一本正经地说：“我想还是你先告诉我，你是谁？”
“为什么？”毛毛虫说。
这又成了一个难题：爱丽丝想不出任何比较好的理由来回答它，看来，毛毛虫挺不高兴的，因此爱丽丝转身就走了。

“回来！”毛毛虫在她身后叫道，“我有几句重要的话讲！”这话听起来倒是鼓舞人的，于是爱丽丝回来了。
“别发脾气嘛！”毛毛虫说，
“就这个话吗？”爱丽丝忍住了怒气问。
“不。”毛毛虫说。

爱丽丝想反正没什么事，不如在这儿等一等，也许最后它会说一点儿值得听的话的。有好几分钟，他只是喷着烟雾不说话。最后它松开胳膊，把水烟管从嘴里拿出来，说：“你认为你已经变了，是吗？”
“我想是的，先生。”爱丽丝说。“我平时知道的事，现在都忘了，而且连把同样的身材保持十分钟都做不到，”
“你忘了些什么？”毛毛虫问。
“我试着背《小蜜蜂怎么干活》，可是背出来的完全变了样！”爱丽丝忧郁地回答。
“那么背诵《你老了，威廉爸爸》吧！”毛毛虫说。

爱丽丝把双手交叉放好，开始背了：
“年轻人说道：
‘你已经老啦，威廉爸爸，
你头上长满了白发。
可你老是头朝下倒立着，
像你这把年纪，这合适吗？’

‘当我年轻的时候，’
威廉爸爸回答儿子，
‘我怕这样会损坏脑子；
现在我脑袋已经空啦，
所以就这样玩个不止，’

‘你已经老啦，’年轻人说：‘像我刚才说的一样，
你已经变得非常肥胖；
可是你一个前空翻翻进门来，
这是怎么搞的？请你讲讲。’

‘当我年轻的时候，’
老哲人摇晃着灰白的卷发说道，
‘我总是让关节保持柔软灵巧，
我用的是这种一先令一盒的油膏，
你想要两盒吗，
请允许我向你推销，’

‘你已经老啦，’年轻人说，
‘你的下巴应该是
衰弱得只能喝些稀汤，
可是你把一只整鹅，
连骨带嘴全都吃光，
请问你怎能这样，’

‘当我年轻的时候，’爸爸说，
研究的是法律条文。
对于每个案子，
都拿来同妻子辩论，
因此我练得下巴肌肉发达，
这使我受用终身。’

‘你已经老啦，’年轻人说，
‘很难想象，
你的眼睛会像从前，一样闪光。
可是你居然能把一条鳗鱼，
竖在鼻子尖上。
请问，你怎会这么棒，’

“够啦，’他的爸爸说，
‘我已经回答了三个问题。
你不要太放肆啦，
我不会整天听你胡言乱语。
快滚吧，不然我就要，
一脚把你踢下楼梯。’”

“背错了。”毛毛虫说。
“我也怕不十分对，”爱丽丝羞怯地说，“有些字已经变了。”
“从头到尾都错了，”毛毛虫干脆地说。然后他们又沉默了几分钟。
毛毛虫首先开腔了：“你想变成多么大小呢？”
“唉！多么大小我倒不在乎。”爱丽丝急忙回答，“可是，一个人总不会喜欢老是变来变去的，这你是知道的。”
“我不知道。”毛毛虫说。
爱丽丝不说话了，她从来没有遭到过这么多的反驳，感到自己要发脾气了。

“你满意现在的样子吗？”毛毛虫说，
“哦，如果你不在意的话，先生，我想再大一点，”爱丽丝说，“像这样三英寸高，太可怜了，”
“这正是一个非常合适的高度。”毛毛虫生气地说，它说话时还使劲儿挺直了身子，正好是三英寸高。
“可我不习惯这个高度！”爱丽丝可怜巴巴地说道，同时心里想：“我希望这家伙可别发火！”
“不久你就会习惯的！”毛毛虫说着又把水烟管放进嘴里抽起来了。

这次，爱丽丝耐心地等着它开口，一两分钟后，毛毛虫从嘴里拿出了水烟管，打了个哈欠，摇了摇身子，然后从蘑菇上下来，向草地爬去，只是在它爬的时候，顺口说道：“一边会使你长高，另一边会使你变矮，”“什么东西的一边，什么东西的另一边？”爱丽丝想。
“蘑菇，”毛毛虫说，就好像爱丽丝在问它似的说完了话，一刹那就不见了。

有那么一两分钟，爱丽丝端详着那个蘑菇，思讨着哪里是它的两边。由于它十公圆，爱丽丝发现这个问题可不容易解决。不管怎样，最后，她伸开双管环抱着它，而且尽量往远伸，然后两只手分别掰下了一块蘑菇边。

“可现在哪边是哪边呢？”她问自己，然后啃了右手那块试试。蓦地觉得下巴被猛烈地碰了一下：原来下巴碰着脚背了。这突然的变化使她战栗，缩得太快了，再不抓紧时间就完了，于是，她立即去吃另一块，虽然下巴同脚顶得太紧，几乎张不开口，但总算把左手的蘑菇啃着了一点。

“啊，我的头自由了！”爱丽丝高兴地说，可是转眼间高兴变成了恐惧。这时，她发现找不见自己的肩膀了，她往下看时，只能见到了很长的脖子，这个脖子就像是矗立在绿色海洋中的高树杆。

“那些绿东西是什么呢？”爱丽丝说，“我的肩膀呢？哎呀！我的可怜的双手啊，怎样才能再见到你们呢？”她说话时挥动着双手，可是除了远处的绿树丛中出现一些颤动外，什么也没有了。

看起来，她的手没法举到头上来了，于是，她就试着把头弯下去凑近手。她高兴地发现自己的脖子像蛇一样，可以随便地往上下左右扭转，她把脖子朝下，变成一个“z”字形，准备伸进那些绿色海洋里去，发现这些绿色海洋不是别的，正是刚才曾经在它下面漫游的树林的树梢。就在这对，一种尖利的嘶声，使得她急忙缩回了头。一只大鸽子朝她脸上飞来，并且呼搧着翅膀疯狂地拍打她。

“蛇！”鸽子尖叫着。
“我不是蛇！”爱丽丝生气地说，“你走开！”
“我再说一遍，蛇！”鸽子重复着，可是已经是用很低的声音在说话了，然后还呜咽地加了一句：“我各种方法都试过了，但是没有一样能叫它们满意！”
“你的话我一点几都不懂！”爱丽丝说，
“我试了树根，试了河岸，还试了篱笆，”鸽子继续说着，并不注意她，“可是这些蛇！没法子让它们高兴！”
  
爱丽丝越来越奇怪了，但是她知道，鸽子不说完自己的话，是不会让别人说话的。
  
“仅仅是孵蛋就够麻烦的啦，”鸽子说，“我还得日夜守望着蛇，天哪！这三个星期我还没合过眼呢！”
“我很同情，你被人家扰乱得不得安宁，”爱丽丝开始有点明白它的意思了，
“我刚刚把家搬到树林里最高的树上，”鸽子继续说，把嗓门提高成了尖声嘶叫，“我想已经最后摆脱它们了，结果它们还非要弯弯曲曲地从天上下来不可。唉！这些蛇呀！”
“我可不是蛇，我告诉你！”爱丽丝说，“我是一个……我是一个……，
“啊，你是什么呢？”鸽子说，“我看得出你正想编谎哩！”
“我是一个小姑娘。”爱丽丝拿不准地说，因为她想起了这一天中经历的那么多的变化。

“说得倒挺像那么回事！”鸽子十分轻蔑地说，“我这辈子看见过许多小姑娘，可从来没有一个长着像你这样的长脖子的！没有，绝对没有！你是一条蛇，辩解是没有用的，我知道你还要告诉我，你从来没有吃过一只蛋吧！”
“我确实吃过许多的蛋，”爱丽丝说，（她是一个非常诚实的孩子。）“你知道，小姑娘也像蛇那样，要吃好多蛋的。”
“我不相信，”鸽子说，“假如她们吃蛋的话，我只能说她们也是一种蛇。”
这对于爱丽丝真是个新的概念，她愣了几分钟。于是鸽子趁机加了一句：“反正你是在找蛋，因此，你是姑娘还是蛇，对我都一样。”
“这对我很不一样，”爱丽丝急忙分辩，“而且老实说，我不是在找蛋，就算我在找蛋，我还不要你的呢？我是不吃生蛋的。”
“哼，那就滚开！”鸽子生气地说着，同时又飞下去钻进它的窝里了。爱丽丝费劲儿地往树林里蹲，因为她的脖子常常会被树叉挂住，要随时停下来排解。过了一会，她想起了手里的两块蘑菇，于是她小心地咬咬这块，又咬咬那块，因此她一会儿L长高，一会缩小，最后终于使自己成了平常的高度了。
  
由于她已经不是正常高度了，所以开头还有点奇怪，不过几分钟就习惯了。然后又像平常那样同自己说话了。“好啊，现在我的计划完成一半了。这些变化多么奇怪，我无法知道下一分钟我会是什么样儿。不管怎样，现在我总算回到自己原来的大小了，下一件事情就是去那个美丽的花园。可是我不知道该怎么去做呢？”说话间来到了一片开阔地，这里有一间四英尺高的小房子。“别管是谁住在这里，”爱丽丝想，“我现在这样的大小不能进去，邓会把它们吓得灵魂出窍的，”她小口小口地咬了一点右手上的蘑菇，一直到自己变成九英寸高，才走向那座小房子。

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