He's older than the oldest man
that anyone has ever known.
He's older than the Internet;
he's older than the telephone.
He's older than the printed word,
the ancient Greeks, the dodo bird.
He's older than the pyramids
and prehistoric1 hominids.
He's older than the dinosaurs2,
the earth, the sun, the moon and stars.
He's old as mud, he's old as dust;
he's wrinkled up and turned to rust3.
He's musty, crusty, stinky, dirty.
Simply put, Dad's turning thirty.