GMAT考试写作例文224篇连载(二十)
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20. The following appeared in an article in a health and fitness magazine.
“Laboratory studies show that Saluda Natural Spring Water contains several of the minerals necessary for good health and that it is completely free of bacteria. Residents of Saluda, the small town where the water is bottled, are hospitalized less frequently than the national average. Even though Saluda Natural Spring Water may seem expensive, drinking it instead of tap water is a wise investment in good health.”
Discuss how well reasoned... etc.


Sample essay 1:
The argument that drinking Saluda Natural Spring Water instead of tap water is a wise investment in good health is not entirely1 logically convincing, since it lacks certain supporting factors.
Firstly, the argument assumes that Saluda Natural Spring Water is the major reason why residents of Saluda are less frequently hospitalized than the national average. However, there is little evidence that this water is the only difference between this place and the rest of the country. And the reason why people in other places are more hospitalized are numerous and varied2. There are so many other factors that would bring people in other places to hospitals, such as accidents, food contamination, illnesses, etc.
Secondly3, the argument also assumes that the minerals in Saluda National Spring Water are the key minerals for the good health of the residents of Saluda. However, this may not be true. We need not only minerals to keep good heath but also various vitamins. Besides, our body needs more minerals than those contained in Saluda Natural Spring Water.
Finally, even if the Saluda water is the major reason why the residents of Saluda are less hospitalized, the argument still omits the fact that there is more than one way to keep drinking water free from bacteria. For instance, the most common practice is to boil water up to 100 degree Celsius4 and keep it at that degree for more than 5 minutes. Therefore drinking Saluda water to keep good health is not the only alternative.
Thus, the argument is not completely sound. The evidence in support of the conclusion that the Saluda residents are less hospitalized does little to prove the conclusion that drinking Saluda Natural Spring Water is a wise investment in good health since it omits the assumptions I have just raised. The argument might have been strengthened by making it plain that Saluda Natural Spring Water is the major reason why the residents of Saluda are less hospitalized, that the water contains all the major minerals essential for the human body, and that there is no other way to keep water from bacteria.
Sample essay 2:
In this argument the author concludes that drinking Saluda Natural Spring Water (SNSW) is preferable to drinking tap water. Three reasons are offered in support of this conclusion: SNSW contains several of the minerals necessary for good health, it is completely tree of bacteria, and residents of Saluda—the town where it is bottled—are hospitalized less frequently than the national average. This argument is unconvincing because it relies on a variety of dubious5 assumptions.
The first questionable6 assumption underlying7 this argument that tap water does not contain the minerals in question and is not completely free of bacteria. This assumption is not supported in the argument. If tap water is found to contain the same minerals and to be free of bacteria, the author’s conclusion is substantially undermined.
A second assumption of the argument is that the water residents of Saluda drink is the same as SNSW. Lacking evidence to the contrary, it is possible that Saluda is not the source of the bottled water but is merely the place where SNSW is bottled. No evidence is offered in the argument to dispute this possibility.
Finally, it is assumed without argument that the reason residents are hospitalized less frequently than the national average is that they drink SNSW. Again, no evidence is offered to support this assumption. Perhaps the residents are hospitalized less frequently because they are younger than the national average, because they are all vegetarians8, or because they exercise daily. That is, there might be other reasons than the one cited to account for this disparity.



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1 entirely entirely     
ad.全部地,完整地;完全地,彻底地
参考例句:
  • The fire was entirely caused by their neglect of duty. 那场火灾完全是由于他们失职而引起的。
  • His life was entirely given up to the educational work. 他的一生统统献给了教育工作。
2 varied giIw9     
adj.多样的,多变化的
参考例句:
  • The forms of art are many and varied.艺术的形式是多种多样的。
  • The hotel has a varied programme of nightly entertainment.宾馆有各种晚间娱乐活动。
3 secondly cjazXx     
adv.第二,其次
参考例句:
  • Secondly,use your own head and present your point of view.第二,动脑筋提出自己的见解。
  • Secondly it is necessary to define the applied load.其次,需要确定所作用的载荷。
4 Celsius AXRzl     
adj.摄氏温度计的,摄氏的
参考例句:
  • The temperature tonight will fall to seven degrees Celsius.今晚气温将下降到七摄氏度。
  • The maximum temperature in July may be 36 degrees Celsius.七月份最高温度可能达到36摄氏度。
5 dubious Akqz1     
adj.怀疑的,无把握的;有问题的,靠不住的
参考例句:
  • What he said yesterday was dubious.他昨天说的话很含糊。
  • He uses some dubious shifts to get money.他用一些可疑的手段去赚钱。
6 questionable oScxK     
adj.可疑的,有问题的
参考例句:
  • There are still a few questionable points in the case.这个案件还有几个疑点。
  • Your argument is based on a set of questionable assumptions.你的论证建立在一套有问题的假设上。
7 underlying 5fyz8c     
adj.在下面的,含蓄的,潜在的
参考例句:
  • The underlying theme of the novel is very serious.小说隐含的主题是十分严肃的。
  • This word has its underlying meaning.这个单词有它潜在的含义。
8 vegetarians 92ca2254bb61eaa208608083177e4ed9     
n.吃素的人( vegetarian的名词复数 );素食者;素食主义者;食草动物
参考例句:
  • Vegetarians are no longer dismissed as cranks. 素食者不再被视为有怪癖的人。
  • Vegetarians believe that eating meat is bad karma. 素食者认为吃肉食是造恶业。
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