日期：2013-01-31 Guest: Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat? Hotel Host: I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from. 客人：为什么你的狗狗坐在那儿老是看着我吃东西呢？ 旅馆主人：我不敢想象，除非是因为你拿了它经常用来吃东西的... 阅读全文>>

日期：2013-01-30 We have a skunk（臭鼬） in the basement, shrieked（尖叫） the caller to the police dispatcher（调度员） . How can we get it out? Take some bread crumbs, said the dispatcher, and put down a trail from the basement out to the back yard. Then leave the... 阅读全文>>

日期：2013-01-30 Boy: I'd like to call you. What's your number? Girl: It's in the phone book. Boy: But I don't know your name. Girl: That's in the phone book too. 男：我想给你打电话。你的电话号码是多少？ 女：在电话本上呢。 男：可是我不知道你的名字呀。 女：也在电话本... 阅读全文>>

日期：2013-01-30 Stopping in an unfamiliar barber shop for a shave, a young playboy took a fancy to the manicure（修指甲） gril and suggested dinner and a show that evening. The girl demurred（反对，抗辩） , I don't think I ought to, I'm married. Why don't you ask y... 阅读全文>>

日期：2013-01-18 The great novelist had gone mad, but now there seemed to be some hope for his recovery. For six months, he had been sitting at his typewriter pounding out a novel. Finally, he pronounced it completed and brought the book to his psychiatrist, who eag... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-12-25 Doctor, she said loudly, bouncing into the room, I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me. He surveyed her from head to foot. Madam, he said at length, I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pound... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-12-20 Jimmy started painting when he was three years old, and when he was five, he was already very good at it. He painted many beautiful and interesting pictures, and people paid a lot of money for them. They said, This boy's going to be famous when he's... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-12-19 Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I'll have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your son's tooth. Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction. Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud,... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-12-19 An American stepped into a gun shop,Give me the most powerful pistol. How many bullets do you need? The American walked to a telephone booth, Hello. Is that the bank? How many people do you have, please? 一个美国人走进枪支商店：给我拿一支威力最大的... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-12-19 Wife talking to her husband(who reads newspaper all day): I wish I were a newspaper so I'll be in your hands all day. Husband: I wish that too, so I could change you daily. 妻子走到看报纸的丈夫面前说：我真希望我是一份报纸，这样我每天都可以被你捧在手... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-10-26 Are you coming to the office Christmas party tomorrow night? the young man asked his colleague veduchina. Well replied his friend, I'd like to but I'm afraid I've got to stay home. My pet will become very anxious if I stay out late. Pet? replied the... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-10-26 It was a cold and misty Christmas morning in the very depth of Winter after a heavy fall of snow and only one farmer and the minister managed to arrive at the church for the morning service. Well, said the clergyman, I guess there's no point in havi... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-10-26 Mr. Smith: Waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup. Waiter: Yes, sir, I know---it's the heat that kills it. 史密斯先生：服务员，我的汤里有一只死苍蝇。 服务员：是的，先生，我知道了，它是被烫死的。... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-10-26 A man is fibbing away about how great things are in his country. Finally, he starts describing the tall buildings in his country. There is a building so tall, it took my friend Alex 72 hours to fall off it! Oh, my God! says his friend. Surely he mus... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-09-21 Wife: Dear, you looked quite drunk last night and you kept repeating the same thing at the table. Husband: Really? Then don't believe anything said by a drunken person. By the way, what did I say to you? Wife: I love you, dear. 妻子：亲爱的，你昨晚... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-09-21 On a trip to Disney World in Florida, my husband and I and our two children devoted ourselves wholeheartedly to the wonders of this attraction. After three exhausting days, we headed for home. As we drove away, our son waved and said, Goodbye, Micke... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-08-07 Two tomatoes go shopping, a tomato suddenly walk fast, the second tomato asks: where shall we go? The first tomato has no answer, the second tomato asked again. The tomato has no answer, so the second tomato asked again. The first tomato finally tur... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-07-18 Customer: Waiter, I can't find any oysters in this oyster stew. Waiter: Well, you wouldn't expect to find any angels in an angel food cake, would you? 顾客：服务员，我这个牡蛎炖菜里怎么没有牡蛎？ 服务员：是啊，你不会指望在天使蛋糕里发现天使吧？... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-07-18 Mr. Henry Beecher entered Plymouth Church one Sunday and found several letters awaiting him. He opened one and found it contained the single word Fool. Quietly and with becoming seriousness he announced to the congregation the fact in these words: I... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-07-18 A wealthy matron（主妇，保姆） is so proud of a valuable antique vase that she decides to have her bedroom painted the same color as the vase. Several painters try to match the shade, but none comes close enough to satisfy the eccentric（古怪的） wo... 阅读全文>>