日期：2011-09-20 The soldiers had been marching and fighting, they were dirty, hot and tired. One day, the general announced: My men, I have some good news and some bad news for you. Which one would you like first? The good news! they all shouted. OK, said the Gener... 阅读全文>>

日期：2011-09-08 Doctor: I can do nothing for your complaint. It is hereditary. Patient: Then send the bill to my father, please. 医生：对你的抱怨我无能为力。那是遗传... 阅读全文>>

日期：2011-09-08 A lady went to a hat shop to buy a hat. As she was very fussy, it took her a long time to pick on one. Already at the end of his patience the salesman was afraid that she might change her mind again so he tried to flatter her: An excellent choice, m... 阅读全文>>

日期：2011-09-08 On a hot summer day an elderly gentleman faints in the street. A small crowd immediately gathers around him. Give the poor man a glass of brandy, advises a woman. Give him a heart massage, says someone else. No, just give him some brandy, insists th... 阅读全文>>

日期：2011-09-08 Doctor: How many ears and eyes does a cat have? Patient: Two of each. Doctor: And how many legs does it have? Patient: Say, Doctor, haven't you ever seen a cat? 医生：一只猫有几个耳朵和眼睛？ 病人：都是两个。 医生：那么它有几条腿呢？ 病人：我说，医... 阅读全文>>

日期：2011-08-30 Stranger: Catch any fish? Fisherman: Did I! I took forty out of this stream this morning. Stranger: Know who I am? I'm the game warden. Fisherman: Know who I am? I'm the biggest liar in the state. 陌生人：钓到鱼了吗？ 钓鱼者：我是谁？一早晨我就在这... 阅读全文>>

日期：2011-08-30 A little boy was practicing his violin, while his father sat reading the newspaper. The family dog began to howl along dismally. Finally, the father could endure the combination no more and said, Can't you play something the dog doesn't know? 一个小... 阅读全文>>

日期：2011-08-30 A fat lady walked into the dress shop. I'd like to see a dress that would fit me, she told the clerk. So would I, said the tactless clerk. 一个胖女人走进服装店。我想看一件适合我穿的衣服，她告诉店员说。 我也是。不太老练的店员说道。... 阅读全文>>

日期：2011-08-30 There was a farmer who fell and broke his hip while he was plowing（耕地） , and his horse immediately galloped（疾驰，飞奔） five miles to the nearest town and returned, carrying a doctor on his back. Thats a pretty smart horse, the farmers friend... 阅读全文>>

日期：2011-08-18 Brown: I'm sorry to see you so unwell. Have you seen the doctor? Jack: Yes. I'm having three baths a day. Brown: What for? Jack: Don't know, doctor's orders. He gave me some medicine and told me to follow the directions on the bottle, which read: On... 阅读全文>>

日期：2011-08-18 Proctor (exceedingly angry):So you confess that this unfortunate freshman was carried to this frog pond and drenched? Now what part did you take in this disgraceful affair? Sophomore (meekly):The right leg, sir. 学监（非常生气）：现在你承认这可怜的... 阅读全文>>

日期：2011-08-18 Father, said Jim, running into the drawing-room, there's a big black cat in the dining-room. Never mind, Jimmy, said his father drowsily, black cats are lucky. This one is, he's just had your dinner! 吉米跑进客厅说：爸爸，餐厅里有一只大黑猫！ 他的父... 阅读全文>>

日期：2011-08-18 Mr. Johnson: Are you using you mower this afternoon? Mr.Smith: Yes. Mr.Johnson: Fine. Then can I borrow your tennis racket, since you won't be needing it? 约翰逊先生：今天下午你准备用割草机吗？ 史密斯先生：是的。 约翰逊先生：太好了。既然您不用网球拍... 阅读全文>>

日期：2011-08-18 The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant. You have your choice of two brains, he told the patient, For $1000 you can have the brain of a psychologist, or for $10,000 you can have the brain of a politician. The patient was amazed at... 阅读全文>>

日期：2011-08-18 Judge: I don't understand why you broke into the same store three nights in a row. Prisoner: Well, Your Honor, I picked out a dress for my wife, and I had to change it twice because she didn't like the style. 法官：我真不明白你为什么连续三天夜里闯入... 阅读全文>>

日期：2011-08-03 One day, he went out hunting with some friends. A strong wind suddenly blew his wig off. When his friends saw what had happened, they started laughing so hard that they could not stop. The bald guy started laughing, too, and just as loudly as the ot... 阅读全文>>

日期：2011-08-02 Barber: Were you wearing a red scarf when you came in? Customer: No. Barber: Oh, then I must have cut your throat. 理发员：你进来时是不是系着红围巾？ 顾客：没有呀。 理发员：噢，那我肯定弄破了你的喉咙。... 阅读全文>>

日期：2011-08-02 After his beloved horse died, a man wanted to place an ad in the newspaper like this: Horse saddle and bridle for $50. Inadvertently（非故意地） the paper added a comma to the ad, which read instead:Horse, saddle and bridle for $50. Immediately some... 阅读全文>>

日期：2011-08-02 Visitor: Is this a healthy place to live in? Local yokel: Yes, sir. When I arrived here, I couldn't walk or eat solid food. Visitor: What was the matter with you? Local yokel: Nothing---I was born here. 游客：住在这样一个地方是不是有益于健康？ 乡下... 阅读全文>>

日期：2011-07-21 A much worried patient walked into doctor's office asking for help: Doctor, I don't know what to do. I accidentally drank a bottle of gasoline yesterday! Oh, Don't worry! All you have to remember is not to smoke in the next few days! 候诊室里坐着一... 阅读全文>>