by Conrad Aiken

    I

    How shall we praise the magnificence of the dead，

    The great man humbled²， the haughty³ brought to dust？

    Is there a horn we should not blow as proudly

    For the meanest of us all， who creeps his days，

    Guarding his heart from blows， to die obscurely？

    I am no king， have laid no kingdoms waste，

    Taken no princes captive， led no triumphs

    Of weeping women through long walls of trumpets⁴；

    Say rather， I am no one， or an atom；

    Say rather， two great gods， in a vault⁵ of starlight，

    Play ponderingly at chess， and at the game's end

    One of the pieces， shaken， falls to the floor

    And runs to the darkest corner； and that piece

    Forgotten there， left motionless， is I. . .

    Say that I have no name， no gifts， no power，

    Am only one of millions， mostly silent；

    One who came with eyes and hands and a heart，

    Looked on beauty， and loved it， and then left it.

    Say that the fates of time and space obscured me，

    Led me a thousand ways to pain， bemused me，

    Wrapped me in ugliness； and like great spiders

    Dispatched me at their leisure. . .Well， what then？

    Should I not hear， as I lie down in dust，

    The horns of glory blowing above my burial？

    II

    Morning and evening opened and closed above me：

    Houses were built above me； trees let fall

    Yellowing leaves upon me， hands of ghosts；

    Rain has showered its arrows of silver upon me

    Seeking my heart； winds have roared and tossed me；

    Music in long blue waves of sound has borne me

    A helpless weed to shores of unthought silence；

    Time， above me， within me， crashed its gongs

    Of terrible warning， sifting⁶ the dust of death；

    And here I lie. Blow now your horns of glory

    Harshly over my flesh， you trees， you waters！

    You stars and suns， Canopus， Deneb， Rigel，

    Let me， as I lie down， here in this dust，

    Hear， far off， your whispered salutation！

    Roar now above my decaying flesh， you winds，

    Whirl out your earth-scents over this body， tell me

    Of ferns and stagnant⁷ pools， wild roses， hillsides！

    Anoint me， rain， let crash your silver arrows

    On this hard flesh！ I am the one who named you，

    I lived in you， and now I die in you.

    I your son， your daughter， treader of music，

    Lie broken， conquered. . .Let me not fall in silence.

    III

    I， the restless one； the circler of circles；

    Herdsman and roper of stars， who could not capture

    The secret of self； I who was tyrant⁸ to weaklings，

    Striker of children； destroyer of women； corrupter⁹

    Of innocent dreamers， and laugher at beauty； I，

    Too easily brought to tears and weakness by music，

    Baffled and broken by love， the helpless beholder¹⁰

    Of the war in my heart of desire with desire， the struggle

    Of hatred¹¹ with love， terror with hunger； I

    Who laughed without knowing the cause of my laughter， who grew

    Without wishing to grow， a servant to my own body；

    Loved without reason the laughter and flesh of a woman，

    Enduring such torments¹² to find her！ I who at last

    Grow weaker， struggle more feebly， relent in my purpose，

    Choose for my triumph an easier end， look backward

    At earlier conquests； or， caught in the web， cry out

    In a sudden and empty despair， 'Tetélestai！'

    Pity me， now！ I， who was arrogant¹³， beg you！

    Tell me， as I lie down， that I was courageous¹⁴.

    Blow horns of victory now， as I real and am vanquished¹⁵.

    Shatter the sky with trumpets above my grave.

    IV

    。 . .Look！ this flesh how it crumbles¹⁶ to dust and is blown！

    These bones， how they grind in the granite¹⁷ of frost and are nothing！

    This skull¹⁸， how it yawns for a flicker¹⁹ of time in the darkness，

    Yet laughs not and sees not！ It is crushed by a hammer of sunlight，

    And the hands are destroyed. . .Press down through the leaves of the jasmine，

    Dig through the interlaced roots——nevermore will you find me；

    I was no better than dust， yet you cannot replace me. . .

    Take the soft dust in your hand——does it stir： does it sing？

    Has it lips and a heart？ Does it open its eyes to the sun？

    Does it run， does it dream， does it burn with a secret， or tremble

    In terror of death？ Or ache with tremendous decisions？。 . .

    Listen！。 . .It says： 'I lean by the river. The willows²¹

    Are yellowed with bud. White clouds roar up from the south

    And darken the ripples²²； but they cannot darken my heart，

    Nor the face like a star in my heart！。 . .Rain falls on the water

    And pelts²³ it， and rings it with silver. The willow²⁰ trees glisten²⁴，

    The sparrows chirp²⁵ under the eaves； but the face in my heart

    Is a secret of music. . .I wait in the rain and am silent.'

    Listen again！。 . .It says： 'I have worked， I am tired，

    The pencil dulls in my hand： I see through the window

    Walls upon walls of windows with faces behind them，

    Smoke floating up to the sky， an ascension of sea-gulls.

    I am tired. I have struggled in vain， my decision was fruitless，

    Why then do I wait？ with darkness， so easy， at hand！。 . .

    But tomorrow， perhaps. . .I will wait and endure till tomorrow！'. . .

    Or again： 'It is dark. The decision is made. I am vanquished

    By terror of life. The walls mount slowly about me

    In coldness. I had not the courage. I was forsaken²⁶.

    I cried out， was answered by silence. . .Tetélestai!

    V

    Hear how it babbles²⁷！——Blow the dust out of your hand，

    With its voices and visions， tread on it， forget it， turn homeward

    With dreams in your brain. . .This， then， is the humble¹， the nameless，——

    The lover， the husband and father， the struggler with shadows，

    The one who went down under shoutings of chaos²⁸， the weakling

    Who cried his 'forsaken！' like Christ on the darkening hilltop！。 . .

    This， then， is the one who implores²⁹， as he dwindles³⁰ to silence，

    A fanfare³¹ of glory. . .And which of us dares to deny him？

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