APOSTASY1.
This last denial of my faith, Thou, solemn Priest, hast heard; And, though upon my bed of death, I call not back a word. Point not to thy Madonna, Priest,—— Thy sightless saint of stone; She cannot, from this burning breast, Wring2 one repentant3 moan.
Thou say'st, that when a sinless child, I duly bent4 the knee, And prayed to what in marble smiled Cold, lifeless, mute, on me. I did. But listen! Children spring Full soon to riper youth; And, for Love's vow5 and Wedlock's ring, I sold my early truth.
'Twas not a grey, bare head, like thine, Bent o'er me, when I said, "That land and God and Faith are mine, For which thy fathers bled." I see thee not, my eyes are dim; But well I hear thee say, "O daughter cease to think of him Who led thy soul astray.
"Between you lies both space and time; Let leagues and years prevail To turn thee from the path of crime, Back to the Church's pale." And, did I need that, thou shouldst tell What mighty6 barriers rise To part me from that dungeon-cell, Where my loved Walter lies?
And, did I need that thou shouldst taunt7 My dying hour at last, By bidding this worn spirit pant No more for what is past? Priest——MUST I cease to think of him? How hollow rings that word! Can time, can tears, can distance dim The memory of my lord?
I said before, I saw not thee, Because, an hour agone, Over my eyeballs, heavily, The lids fell down like stone. But still my spirit's inward sight Beholds8 his image beam As fixed9, as clear, as burning bright, As some red planet's gleam.
Talk not of thy Last Sacrament, Tell not thy beads10 for me; Both rite11 and prayer are vainly spent, As dews upon the sea. Speak not one word of Heaven above, Rave12 not of Hell's alarms; Give me but back my Walter's love, Restore me to his arms!
Then will the bliss13 of Heaven be won; Then will Hell shrink away, As I have seen night's terrors shun14 The conquering steps of day. 'Tis my religion thus to love, My creed15 thus fixed to be; Not Death shall shake, nor Priestcraft break My rock-like constancy!
Now go; for at the door there waits Another stranger guest; He calls——I come——my pulse scarce beats, My heart fails in my breast. Again that voice——how far away, How dreary16 sounds that tone! And I, methinks, am gone astray In trackless wastes and lone17.
I fain would rest a little while: Where can I find a stay, Till dawn upon the hills shall smile, And show some trodden way? "I come! I come!" in haste she said, "'Twas Walter's voice I heard!" Then up she sprang——but fell back, dead, His name her latest word.