You might think a gentle nudge from a loving partner would help you stick to your plan to redecorate the house or get in shape. But a supportive other half with the best intentions can actually demotivate us, according to a study.

如果你计划重新装修房子或者健身的话，你可能认为爱侣的贴心支持能让你更坚定地完成自己的计划。但是一项调查显示，另一半好意的支持反而会让我们失去坚持的动力。

Thinking about the support a significant other offers in pursuing goals can undermine（破坏，危害） the motivation to work towards those goals, scientists claim. It can also increase procrastination¹（耽搁，拖延） before getting down to work.

This phenomenon even has a name - 'self-regulatory outsourcing' - which is the unconscious reliance on someone else to move your goals forward, coupled by a relaxation² of your own effort. It's not solely³ a phenomenon between partners, but happens with friends and family too.

The study's authors, scientists Gráinne Fitzsimons of Duke University and Eli Finkel of Northwestern University, said: 'If you look just at one goal in isolation⁴ - as the study does - there can be a negative effect.

'But relying on another person also lets you spread your energy across many goals, which can be effective if your partner is helpful.' The authors conducted three online experiments with participants recruited from a data-collection service.

In the first, of 52 women, some were asked to focus on a way their partners helped them reach health and fitness goals; the control group instead entertained thoughts of their partners helping⁵ them with career goals.

When asked how diligently⁶ they intended to work toward getting fitter and healthier in the coming week, the first group planned to put in less effort than the second.

Facing an academic goal, people also unconsciously outsourced their exertion⁷（发挥，努力） to helpful partners. In the second experiment, 74 male and female students were given a means of procrastination - an engaging puzzle - before completing an academic achievement task that would help them improve their performance at university.

Those who had mused⁸ about how their partner helps them with academic achievement procrastinated⁹ longer, leaving themselves less time to work productively on the academic task, than did control group participants.

'The first experiment was about intention. The second captures behaviour,' said Professor Fitzsimons.