Along with tips on jam-making and how best to discipline naughty boys, these are just a few of the bonkers requests being fired at British embassies around the world, the Foreign Office said Thursday.

Help! I've just had my breasts enlarged and I don't like the new size. British embassy -- sort out my boobs!

Along with tips on jam-making and how best to discipline naughty boys, these are just a few of the bonkers requests being fired at British embassies around the world, the Foreign Office said Thursday.

The country's 261 diplomatic missions across the globe are getting fed up of bizarre demands for help from Brits abroad, some of whom seem to think the British embassy is an agency for finding lost sunglasses and paying bills.

"If you have a serious problem abroad -- maybe you've been involved in an accident, have lost your passport or are a victim of crime -- we can help you," said Juliet Maric, the British Consul¹ in Alicante on the Spanish east coast.

"But we can't tell you who is allowed to use your swimming pool, pay your taxi fares for you -- or do anything about the exchange rate.

"We regularly get enquiries from people who think we're a one-stop-shop for any problem they might encounter while abroad; this can be frustrating² as we need to focus resources on the serious cases that we're there to help with."

One lady, unhappy with the size of her newly-boosted breasts following surgery, asked if the embassy could help.

A mother asked the Florida consulate³ to help her teenage son pack his suitcase and give him a lift to the airport as he was feeling unwell.

One person called in consular⁴ assistance to find out what ratio of fruit to sugar should be used when making jam.

A holidaymaker in Italy asked the embassy where a particular brand of shoes could be bought.

Other requests have included asking for embassy staff to pay a bill when a credit card had "maxed out" and a traveller asking "Can you tell me how to make my naughty son behave?"

"Our embassies are not there to provide weather reports or give advice on unruly children," said consular affairs minister Chris Bryant.

"It's important that British nationals understand what the Foreign Office can and can't do for them."

求救！我刚隆完胸，但我不喜欢现在的大小。英国大使馆---帮我解决一下隆胸的烦恼吧！

英国外交部本周四称，英国驻世界各国的大使馆频繁受到愚蠢求助的骚扰，包括求教怎样做果酱，怎样管教淘气的男孩等等。

英国驻世界各国的261个外交代表机构已经对海外英国人的怪异求助厌烦不已。有些海外英国人似乎认为英国大使馆还负责帮忙找墨镜和付账单。

英国驻西班牙东海岸阿利坎特市领事馆的领事朱丽叶•马里奇说：“如果你在国外遇到了比较大的麻烦，比如遇到意外，弄丢了护照，或者成为犯罪受害者，那么我们会提供帮助。”

“但我们没办法告诉你谁可以用你家的游泳池，给你掏打车钱，或者算汇率。”

“有些人觉得我们提供一站式服务，在国外遇到任何麻烦都可以找我们，我们经常接到这些人的询问。这会干扰我们的工作，因为我们需要集中精力处理那些我们应该做的正经事。”

曾有一位女士向大使馆求助，因为她对外科隆胸手术后胸部的大小不满。

一位母亲曾致电英国驻佛罗里达领事馆，想找人帮她十几岁的儿子收拾箱子，并把他送到机场。当时她的儿子身体不适。

还有人向领事助理求助，询问在做果酱时，水果和糖按什么比例放。

一位在意大利度假的英国人问大使馆在哪里可以买到某一种牌子的鞋。

其它怪问题还有，信用卡刷爆了，想让大使馆工作人员付账单，还有一位旅行者问道：“能告诉我怎样才能让我淘气的儿子规矩点儿？”

领事局局长克里斯•布莱恩特说：“我们的大使馆不是用来预报天气，或者告诉你怎样管教淘气的孩子的。”

“英国国民要弄清楚外交部能为他们做什么，不能为他们做什么，这一点很重要。”

vocabulary:

boob: a blunder; mistake, or a female breast（愚蠢的错误；<俗>妇女的乳房）

bonkers：mentally unbalanced; mad; crazy.（愚蠢透顶的）

max out：to reach a point at which no more improvement, profit, or benefit can occur（达到最高极限）