“年龄不是问题，身高不是距离。”当爱情发生时，似乎一切都不是问题。不过，是否存在最佳的年龄差可以让亲密关系更长久呢？

 

An often-asserted rule of thumb to determine whether an age difference is socially acceptable holds that a person should never date someone whose age is less than half their own plus seven years.

一种流传很广的理论认为，社会普遍能接受的年龄差是年纪小的一方不小于年纪大的一方年龄的一半加上7。

 

按照这个公式来看，一个28岁的人和一个小于21岁（28÷2+7=21）的对象谈恋爱就不太合适。

 

尽管来源是个谜，但这个理论已经被不少人拿来判断两个人的年龄差距是否合适。

 

男性和女性的选择有何不同

 

交友网站OKCupid的联合创始人Christian Rudder所做的研究表明：男性和女性在年龄差上的偏好有所不同。

 

While female users look for men roughly the same age as them (or perhaps a year or two older) men prefer women in their early twenties, regardless of their own age.

女性通常会选择和自己年龄大致相近或者大一两岁的对象，而男性无论多少岁都会更倾向于选择20出头的对象。

 

While women prefer a small and constant age gap, men are so hooked on the idea of a nubile¹ young partner that they prefer a larger age gap the older they get.

女性更喜欢小而恒定的年龄差距，而男性非常着迷于年轻性感的伴侣，因此男性年龄越大越倾向于选择更大的年龄差。

 

Across Western countries, about 8 percent of all married heterosexual couples can be classified as having a large age gap (ten years or more). These generally involve older men partnered with younger women. About 1 percent of age-gap couples involve an older woman partnered with a younger man.

在西方国家，大约8%的已婚异性夫妻年龄差距都较大（10岁或更大），其中大部分夫妇是年长男性与年轻女性的结合，1%是年长女性与年轻男性的结合。

 

那么，较小的年龄差距会使两个人在一起的可能性变大吗？

 

年龄差越小越好？

 

小的年龄差似乎有不少优点，两个人之间较多的相同点或许能增强彼此间的情感联系。

 

The ability of both members of a couple to sing a favourite childhood television theme tune² could bond them together, at the risk of irritating those nearby.

情侣们冒着打扰身边人的风险，哼唱同一首孩提时期最喜欢的电视剧主题曲，或许能让二人更亲近。

 

In 2014, the Atlantic claimed that “a five year age difference makes a couple 18 percent more likely to get divorced, compared to a couple born on or around the same year.”

据Atlantic在2014年的研究，有5岁年龄差的夫妻离婚的可能性比年龄相同或相近的夫妻要大18%。

 

但是这种判定也不是绝对的，离婚与年龄差不一定就存在着因果关系。

 

关系走向与什么有关？

 

虽然不少人认为有较大年龄差的两个人关系可能不会长久，但也有研究表明伴侣之间年龄差较大意味着更多的信任与承诺。

 

These couples seem to report greater trust and lower jealousy³ than similar-age couples. Over three-quarters of couples where younger women are partnered with older men report satisfying romantic relationships.

年龄差较大的情侣会更信任彼此，嫉妒也会少得多。有超过四分之三的年轻女性与年长男性结合的情侣们对亲密关系很满意。

 

If people in age-gap couples believe their family, friends and wider community disapprove⁴ of their union, then relationship commitment decreases and the risk of break-up increases.

如果存在年龄差的情侣们认为他们的家人或朋友不赞成二人的结合，那么这段关系破裂的可能性就会相应增大。

 

Another factor at play may have to do with the stage of life each partner is experiencing. For instance, a ten-year gap between a 20-year-old and a 30-year-old may bring up different challenges and issues than for a ten-year gap where one partner is 53 and the other is 63.

另外一个影响关系走向的因素是两个人所处的人生阶段。例如，同样是10岁的年龄差，20岁和30岁之间人生阶段的差异自然要比53岁和63岁的大很多。

 

真爱面前年龄不是问题

 

当然，数据只是一个大致趋势，爱情这种人生的修行还是如人饮水，冷暖自知。

 

世界上不存在成功爱情的秘诀，一段亲密关系能否快乐而健康最终还是取决于身处其中的当事人。

 

尽管年龄差距可能会为一段关系中的两人带来一些挑战，但只要双方共同维系这段感情，年龄就不会成为障碍。

 

We all know that the best things in life don't come without putting in a little work, and love is no exception.

爱情和生活中其他美好的事情一样，不付出努力是不会来到我们身边的。

 

愿大家都能找到自己生命中的“the one”。

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