日期：2012-07-10 Jerry went to a psychiatrist. Doc, he said, I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy! Just put yourself in my hands for one year, said the shrink. Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure yo... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-06-26 A young man saw Edison, said, I want to develop a sort of all-purpose dissolvent, by which can dissolve all materials. Edison asked a question in reply, In that case, what container shall you hold it with? 一个后生找到爱迪生，说：我准备研制一种万能... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-06-26 Chaucer was over seventy, but he was not convinced of his age. At a time he boasted: My physical strength is as strong as that I was young. The opposite person asked: What do you rely on? Chaucer said, There is a big stone roller in my compound. I c... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-06-12 Two robbers were robbing a hotel. The first robber said, I hear sirens. Jump! The second one said, But we're on the 13 th floor! The first one screamed back, This is no time to be superstitious（迷信的） ! 两个盗贼在一家旅馆偷东西。第一个说：我听到... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-06-12 A Boeing 747 was flying in the night sky of the Pacific Ocean. The captain got on the loud speaker, Travellers, one of our engines was out of order, therefore we'll arrive in Tokyo an hour late. After a short while, the trumpet（喇叭） rang out agai... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-06-01 The science teacher lecturing his class in biology said, Now I'll show you this frog in my pocket. He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a chicken sandwich. He looked puzzled for a second, thought deeply, and said, That's funny. I distinctl... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-05-09 The shopkeeper was dismayed（吃惊） when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST DEALS. He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an eve... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-05-09 Dan was the doorman of a club in a big city. Everyday, thousands of people passed his door, and a lot of them stopped and asked him, What's the time, please? After a few months, Dan said to himself, I'm not going to answer all those stupid people an... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-05-09 A Kentucky teacher was quizzing her students. Johnny, who signed the Declaration of Independence? He said, Damn if I know. She was a little put out（激怒） by his swearing, so she told him to go home and to bring his father with him when he came bac... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-04-27 Stan: I won 92 goldfish. Fred: Where are you going to keep them? Stan: In the bathroom 。 Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath? Stan: Blindfold（蒙眼睛） them! 斯丹：我赢了 92 条金鱼。 弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？ 斯丹：浴室。 弗雷... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-04-27 Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones. Wife: No, I can't marry anyone after you. Johnson: But I want you to. Wife: But why? Johnson:... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-04-27 Psychiatrist: What's your problem? Patient: I think I'm a chicken. Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on? Patient: Ever since I was an egg! 精神病医师：你哪里不舒服？ 病人：我认为我是一只鸡。 精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的？ 病人：从我... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-04-18 Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained it was to keep their ears from popping. When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed up to her and said, I'm meeting my wife right away. How do I get the gum out from my ear... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-04-18 An Englishman lost his way while he was driving in the countryside. He saw a farmer working in the field nearby, so he went nearer in his car and asked the farmer, Excuse me, can you tell me where I am? Yes, the farmer looked at him strangely and sa... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-04-12 Mrs Harris lives in a small village. Her husband is dead, but she has one son. He is twenty-one and his name is Geoff. He worked in the shop in the village and lived with his mother, but then he got work in a town and went ant lived there. Its name... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-02-16 A couple of hunters chartered a small plane to fly them to a forest, and made an appointment with the pilot to come back and fetch them in about two weeks. At the end of the two weeks, they had shot a lot of animals that they wanted to load onto the... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-02-16 A police stopped a motorist who was speeding on the street. But officer, the man said, I can explain. Just be quiet, snapped the officer. I'm going to put you in jail until the chief gets back. But ,officer, I . I said to keep quiet! You are going t... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-02-03 Waitress, shouted the impatient diner, do I have to sit here and starve all night? no, sir, we close at nine o'clock. 服务员，用餐者不耐烦地叫道，我必须整晚坐在这儿挨饿吗？ 不，先生，我们9点关门。... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-02-03 Son: Why are hen's legs so short? Dad: You're a fool. If the hen's legs were too long, wouldn't they drop their eggs into pieces when laying? 儿子：为什么母鸡的腿这么短呢？ 父亲：你真笨。如果母鸡的腿太长，它们下蛋的时候，鸡蛋岂不都摔碎了？... 阅读全文>>

日期：2012-02-03 I answered the phone one evening and quickly realized the voice on the other end belonged to a telemarketer. Good evening, he said, may I speak with Leah Jonason? She is a baby, I replied. All right, said the caller, I'll try again later. 一天晚上我... 阅读全文>>