日期:2022-03-09 Bless this house, oh Lord, we cry. Please keep it cool in mid-July. Bless the walls where termites dine, while ants and roaches march in time. Bless our yard where spiders pass fire ant castles in the grass. Bless the garage, a home to please carpen... 阅读全文>> 日期:2022-03-09 How many managers does it take to change a light bulb? 1) I want a detailed memo about this issue till tomorrows morning. 2) You were supposed to have changed that light bulb last week! 3) We havent got a policy on that. 4) I am on my way to a very... 阅读全文>> 日期:2022-03-09 President Clinton, returning from a campaign stop in Arkansas, is climbing the steps to board Air Force One. Under each arm he is carrying a souvenir of his trip, a live razorback. At the top of the jetway, he is met by the guard, a Marine sergeant,... 阅读全文>> 日期:2022-03-09 An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, Im... 阅读全文>> 日期:2022-03-09 To commemorate her 69th birthday on October 1, actress/vocalist, Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattans Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP. One of the musical numbers she performed was My Favorite Things from the legend... 阅读全文>> 日期:2022-03-09 Kentucky: The owner of a golf course in Kentucky was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, You graduated from the University of Kentucky and I need so... 阅读全文>> 日期:2022-03-09 A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks Where did you get that? The pig says, I won her in a raffle!... 阅读全文>> 日期:2022-03-09 An recent Italian immigrant to New York wanted a job, but the foreman wont hire him until he passes a little math test. Heres your first question, the foreman said. Without using numbers, represent the number 9. Without numbers? the Italian says, Da... 阅读全文>> 日期:2017-05-17 Bloke is drinking at a pub and after a few rounds goes to leave, explaining to the barman he has to go home to use toilet. Dont be stupid, says the barman, Weve got a perfectly good toilet here! Yes, explains the drinker, but I take salts. So what?... 阅读全文>> 日期:2017-05-17 Methods from Human Resources... 1. Put 400 bricks in a closed room. 2. Put your new hires in the room and close the door. 3. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours. 4. Then analyze the situation: a. If they are counting the bricks, put them in... 阅读全文>> 日期:2017-05-17 A man walks into a doctors office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear. Whats the matter with me? he asks the doctor. The doctor replies, Youre not eating properly.... 阅读全文>> 日期:2017-05-17 A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns to tell their adventures on the seas. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg leg, hook, and an eye patch. Curious, the seaman asks So, how did you end up with the peg-leg? The pirate replies,... 阅读全文>> 日期:2017-04-12 Its a little known fact that Julius Caesar did not die from stab wounds by Brutus, but, rather, was poisoned. During a sumptuous banquet which they both attended on that fateful Ides of March, Brutus slipped some poisonous hemlock leaves onto Julius... 阅读全文>> 日期:2017-04-10 A woman walks into a pet shop and sees a cute little dog. She asks the shopkeeper, Does your dog bite? The shopkeeper says, No, my dog does not bite. The woman tries to pet the dog and the dog bites her. Ouch! She says, I thought you said your dog d... 阅读全文>> 日期:2017-02-28 A midget walks into the doctors and says, Doc, Ive got these itchy balls and I cant do anything to stop em itching. The Doctor says, I can see the problem and Ill fix it for ya. So the Doc pulls out a pair of scissors and tells the Midget to close h... 阅读全文>> 日期:2017-02-28 A man absolutely hated his wifes cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park. As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway. The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 b... 阅读全文>> 日期:2017-02-28 The manager of a large corporation got a heart attack, and the doctor told him to go for several weeks to a farm to relax. The guy went to a farm, and after a couple of days he was very bored, so he asked the farmer to give him some job to do. The f... 阅读全文>> 日期:2017-02-28 A woman goes to a psychiatrist and says, Doctor, youve got to do something about my husband. He thinks hes a refrigerator! I wouldnt worry too much about it, the doctor replies. Lots of people have harmless delusions. It will pass. But you dont unde... 阅读全文>> 日期:2017-02-28 Two ninety year old men, Moe and Sam, have been friends all their lives. It seems that Sam is dying of cancer, and Moe comes to visit him daily. Sam, says Moe, You know how we have both loved baseball all our lives, and how we played minor league ba... 阅读全文>> 日期:2016-08-25 A teacher is telling his students, The moon is very large. Several millions people can live there. And a boy laughs and says, It must get crowded when its a crescent moon. 一位告诉学生:月亮非常大,上面能住几百人。 一个男孩笑着说:当月亮变成月牙的时... 阅读全文>> |
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