日期:2011-03-15 A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next him, and says, Hey, wanna hear a blond joke? The man says back to the blind man, Look buddy, I'm blond. The man behind me is a 400-pound professional wrestler(摔跤选手) and he is blond. The bouncer(... 阅读全文>>

日期:2011-03-01 A man walked into the office of the eminent(杰出的,有名的) psychiatrist(精神病学家) Dr. Von Vermouth, and sat down to explain his problem. Well, you see, I've got this problem, the man continued. I keep hallucinating(使产生幻觉) that I'm a do... 阅读全文>>

日期:2011-03-01 Last week I went to the theatre. I had a good seat. The play was interesting. I didn't enjoy it. A young man and a young woman were sitting behind me. They were talking loudly. I got very angry. I could not hear the actor. I turned round, looking at... 阅读全文>>

日期:2011-01-12 Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see... 阅读全文>>

日期:2011-01-12 Mother had decided to trim(修剪,整理) her household(家庭的,日常的) budget wherever possible, so instead of having a dress drycleaned she washed it by hand. Proud of her savings, she boasted to my father, Just think, Fred, we are five dollars r... 阅读全文>>

日期:2011-01-05 Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory(炼狱) , being sized up by God. Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a... 阅读全文>>

日期:2010-12-08 A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine(真实的,真正的) alligator(鳄鱼皮革的) shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors(供应商,销售商) were asking.... 阅读全文>>

日期:2010-11-26 In 1990 the Swedes sent their first rocket up into outer space with a crew consisting of a chimpanzee(黑猩猩) and a Norwegian. On the control panel in front of them was a red light and a green light. When the red light flashed in indicated that in... 阅读全文>>

日期:2010-11-18 A novice(初学者,新手) lion tamer(驯狮者) was being interviewed. I understand your father was also a lion tamer, the reporter queried. Yes, he was, the man replied. Do you actually put your head in the lion's mouth? I did it only once, said the... 阅读全文>>

日期:2010-11-18 Jim walked into a store which had a sign outside: Second-hand clothes bought and sold. He was carrying an old pair of pants(裤子,短裤) and asked the owner of the store, How much will you give me for these? The man looked at them and then said rud... 阅读全文>>

日期:2010-11-11 As a newly commissinaed infantry(步兵) lieutenant, I was eager to set an example for my platoon(排,团) by cleaning my own M-16 rifle. While we were working on the weapons, one soldier complained about the unusual notched(有缺口的) shape of th... 阅读全文>>

日期:2010-10-29 My battery commander(连长) and I were interviewing candidates for a position as reconnaissance(侦测,勘探) sergeant in our artillery(火炮,大炮) unit. The selected soldier needed to have keen eyesight, plus the ability to react quickly. During... 阅读全文>>

日期:2010-10-29 The exec(执行,主任参谋) was making a presentation to the company board: Computers have allowed us to cut costs, he explained. We expect even more dramatic improvements as computers become increasingly self-sufficient. He unveiled(公开,揭幕) a... 阅读全文>>

日期:2010-10-29 At a dinner party in the home of friends, our host mentioned his highschool alma mater(母校,校歌) . One of the guests asked him if he had been a student there at the same time as a particular vice principal. I sure was! answered the host. He's th... 阅读全文>>

日期:2010-10-26 A wealthy matron(主妇) is so proud of a valuable antique(古老的) vase that she decides to have her bedroom painted the same color as the vase. Several painters try to match the shade, but none comes close enough to satisfy the eccentric(古怪的... 阅读全文>>

日期:2010-09-14 Napoleon was ill Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that h... 阅读全文>>

日期:2010-09-14 Good Sight Lawyer: You say you were about thirty-five feet away from the scene of the accident? Just how far can you see clearly? Witness: Well, when I wake up in the morning I see the sun, and they tell me it's about ninety-three million miles away... 阅读全文>>

日期:2010-08-26 What was it she wanted? A store manager heard a clerk tell a customer. No, maam, we haven't had any for a while, and it doesn't look asif we'll be getting soon. Horrified, the manager came runningover to the customer and said, Of course, we'll have... 阅读全文>>

日期:2010-07-19 Hogarth The great painter was asked, one day to paint a picture of Pharaoh crossing the Red Sea. A little while after the picture had been commenced, a hitch arose over the fee, and Hogarth found that he would have to complete the commission for abo... 阅读全文>>

日期:2010-07-19 To Borrow an Ox Once upon a time, there lived a rich man, but he didn't know any words. One day, one of his friends wanted to borrow an ox from him, so he wrote a note and asked his servant to take it to this rich man. After the servant gave the not... 阅读全文>>

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