日期:2016-02-17 The manager of a shop was yelling at one of his staff. I saw you arguing with a customer, he said crossly. Will you please remember that in my shop the customer is always right? Do you understand? Yes, sir, said the assistant. The customer is always... 阅读全文>> 日期:2016-02-17 A fruit vendor in Philippines sold a watermelon to a woman and assured her that it was very sweet because it was red inside. As she rode home on a bicycle, the vehicle skidded and the watermelon fell to the street and broke open, the woman was surpr... 阅读全文>> 日期:2015-11-09 When I started my current job, I was assigned to a cubicle with a five-foot-high partition. Promoted in three monks, I asked for a private office in line with my new title. My boss reluctantly told me that there were three possibilities. The first w... 阅读全文>> 日期:2015-11-09 The doctor looked at his patient's tongue, felt his pulse, knocked on his chest, and began: Same old story, my friend. Too much confinement. Do not deny it. What you need is plenty of outdoor exercise. Walk, Walk. But, doctor... Don't argue with me.... 阅读全文>> 日期:2015-07-07 John is not a good student. He always sleeps in the class. Today he sleeps again. John! Teacher says angrily. What? What's wrong? John is awaken. Why do you make a face? It's classroom. Look! Everyone is laughing. Teacher says. No one is laughing. T... 阅读全文>> 日期:2015-07-07 Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the mo... 阅读全文>> 日期:2015-07-06 I'm sorry, Madam, but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth. Twenty dollars! Why, I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work! Yes, but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared fo... 阅读全文>> 日期:2015-06-04 Guest: Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat? Hotel Host: I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from. 客人:你的狗为什么坐在那儿看着我吃饭? 旅馆老板:我想不出,除非是因为你用的是它平时吃饭的盘子。... 阅读全文>> 日期:2015-05-25 Bill: Where did you get that gold watch Jon? Jon: I won it in a race. Bill: How many people participated in it? Jon: Three, a policeman, the owner of the watch, and me! 比尔:你从哪儿弄来的金表,乔? 乔:我赛跑赢的。 比尔:有多少人参加? 乔:三个人... 阅读全文>> 日期:2015-05-25 Did you hear about the girl who was so keen on road safety that she always wore white at night? Last winter she was knocked down by a snow plough. 你听说过那个女孩吗?她那么担心交通安全,总是在晚上穿着一身白衣服。去年冬天,她被一辆铲雪车撞到了。... 阅读全文>> 日期:2015-05-25 The patient was recovering after an operation. His friend came to visit him and asked how he was getting along. Well, the patient began, after my first operation they had to cut me open again. The doctor had to take out the sponge left in me. But yo... 阅读全文>> 日期:2015-04-23 Mrs Williams lived in a small street in London, and now she had a new neighbour. Her name was Mrs Briggs, and she talked a lot about her expensive furniture, her beautiful carpets and her new kitchen. Do you know, she said to Mrs Williams one day, I... 阅读全文>> 日期:2015-04-07 A Scotsman, carrying a huge suitcase, has been riding a London bus for five miles along its route, all the while attempting to avoid the ticket collector. Finally, the conductor manages to corner him and tells him to pay up:You've been on for five... 阅读全文>> 日期:2015-04-07 Nat lived in a small town in England. He always stayed in England for his holidays, but then last year he thought, I've never been outside this country. All my friends go to Spain, and they like it very much, so this year I'm going to go there too.... 阅读全文>> 日期:2015-04-03 As a professional animal trainer, I was disturbed when my own dog developed a bad habit. Every time I hung my wash out on the clothesline, she would yank it down. Drastic action was called for. I put a white kitchen towel on the line and waited. Eac... 阅读全文>> 日期:2015-04-03 Henry was from the United States and he had come to London for a holiday. One day he was not feeling well, so he went to the clerk at the desk of his hotel and said, I want to see doctor. Can you give me the name of a good one? The clerk looked in a... 阅读全文>> 日期:2015-04-03 Once, late at night, an Englishman came out of his room into the corridor of a hotel and asked the servant to bring him a glass of water. The servant did as he was asked. The Englishman re-entered his room, but a few minutes later he came into the c... 阅读全文>> 日期:2015-04-03 A man was looking for things of the old times. One day he came to a village and found a blue bowl. It looked very old. The bowl was on the ground and a cat was drinking milk from it. A farmer, the owner of the cat, was sitting beside the bowl. The m... 阅读全文>> 日期:2015-03-30 A blind man was waiting to cross the road when his guide dog cocked its leg, then urinated on its owner. Calmly, the blind man reached into his pocket and took out a biscuit for the dog. A passerby who'd seen everything remarked:That's extremely to... 阅读全文>> 日期:2015-03-19 Every time the man next door headed toward Robinson's house, Robinson knew he was coming to borrow something. He won't get away with it this time, muttered Robinson to his wife. Er, I wonder if you'd be using your power-saw this morning, the neighbo... 阅读全文>> |
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