日期:2015-06-23 Should you have any questions during the exam, just raise your hand. This should cause enough blood to flow to your brain to answer it yourself.... 阅读全文>> 日期:2015-06-23 After just a few years of marriage filled with constant arguments, a young man and his wife decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counseling. They had been at each other's throats for some time and felt that this was their last stra... 阅读全文>> 日期:2015-05-21 Mr. Baldwin, the biology teacher called on Mary, Can you tell me the part of the body that, under the right conditions, expands to six times it's normal size, and state the conditions. Mary gasped and said in a huff, Why, Mr. Baldwin! That is an ina... 阅读全文>> 日期:2015-05-21 The teacher had given the class an assignment. He stresses the importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses will be accepted except illness (with a medical certificate) or a death in the immediate family (with a note from that membe... 阅读全文>> 日期:2015-05-21 A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe with a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a represe... 阅读全文>> 日期:2015-05-21 A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday. Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his... 阅读全文>> 日期:2015-05-21 Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. MAN: Hello. WOMAN: Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?... 阅读全文>> 日期:2015-04-15 A student kept bugging his friend, What time is it? Finally, his friend complained, Why don't you get a watch like the rest of us. Why do I need a watch? There is always someone around to ask. But what can you do in the middle of the night, when you... 阅读全文>> 日期:2015-04-15 A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. She laid her pet on the table. The vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's heart. I'm so sorry; your pet duck has passed away. The distressed owner wailed Are you sure? Ye... 阅读全文>> 日期:2015-04-15 A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, Wanna hear a blonde joke? In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, Before you tell that joke, you should know something. Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb bl... 阅读全文>> 日期:2015-04-15 One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask Why do we have to learn this stuff? To save lives, the professor responded quickly and continued the lecture. A few minutes later, t... 阅读全文>> 日期:2015-04-07 An American businessman and an American, a Russian, a Cuban, lawyer were on a train traveling across Europe. The Russian took out a large bottle of vodka, poured each of his companions a drink and then hurled the semifull bottle out the window. Why... 阅读全文>> 日期:2015-03-31 On a hot summer day, a country bumpkin came into town with his dog. He tied the dog under the shade of a tree and went into the bar for a cold beer. About 20 minutes later a policeman came into the bar and asked who owned the dog tied under the tree... 阅读全文>> 日期:2015-03-31 All of his life Len from Cape Breton had heard stories of an amazing family tradition. It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 21st birthday. On that day, they'd walk across the lake to... 阅读全文>> 日期:2015-03-17 On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules, The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be... 阅读全文>> 日期:2015-03-17 When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie That's amore. When an eel bites your hand and that's not what you planned That's a moray. When our habits are strange and our customs deranged That's our mores. When your horse munches straw and the b... 阅读全文>> 日期:2015-03-17 Two boys are playing hockey on the pond on Boston Common, when one is attacked by a vicious Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy took his hockey stick and managed to wedge it down the dog's collar and twist, luckily breaking the dog's neck an... 阅读全文>> 日期:2015-03-17 Towards the end of the golf course, Larry hit his ball into the woods and found it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch. All of a sudden ... POOF!!... 阅读全文>> 日期:2015-03-17 1. A king size water bed holds enough water to fill a 2000 square foot house 4 inches deep. 2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. 3. A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a... 阅读全文>> 日期:2015-03-02 One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. Why are you eating grass? he asked one man. We don't have any mon... 阅读全文>> |
|